Promises
by 0928soubi at docomo.ne.jp
Summary: What if Sho was actually Gackt's son? What if Gackt asked Kei to watch over him? ShoKeiSho, mentioned YouxChaCha & Gacktxa mystery lover...Much smut!
1. Chapter 1

Warning: If ye are easily depressed, or don't like death...well, number one, you shouldn't be reading a fic based on a movie where all but two characters in the entire cast die. So deal with it. That, or hit the back arrow. Which I really don't suggest you do, as it calls upon the J-Rock fairies, who like to turn non-reviewers into soup. Yummy, delicious soup. And flamers get the same treatment. ^.^ Shounen-ai!

Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a little girl named JJ. And aaall she wanted in the world was to own Moon Child, thus having a claim to Sho and Kei. Well, one day, while frolicking through the magic forrest, she stumbled upon a rock, which tripped her into a magical place where aaall dreams come true. And the blue fairy flew over to JJ, and asked what her most fervent wish was. "I want Sho and Kei." she said, desperately hoping that her wish would also be granted. So the blue fairy dug through his magical bag of wonders, pulling out all sorts of gadgets and toys. "Let's see...I've got a Sugizo, a Son, a Miyavi..." "No, no, no!" she cried. "It just has to be a Sho and Kei!" The fairy godmother smiled down at her, resuming his search. He pulled out item after item, until his bag was half full. "How about a Ruki?" "No." "An Uruha?" "No." "A Yi-Che?" "Oh, HELL NO." "A You?" "Nope." "An Aoi?" "...we'll come back to that one." "A Reita?" "Yeah, go ahead and throw that in there...but where are my Sho and KEI?!!" "Sorry. Fresh out." And away flew the fairy, knocking JJ back into her world again. She cried and cried for hours, until she remembered! She still had a Reita! So they forcibly married and lived happily ever after. Amen.

(a/n) Gackt is an alien who does not age. Therefore, it is entirely possible that he fathered Sho...who is born in...another...century...? O.O" Don't think about the timeline too much please. It'll only cause problems for me. XD

* * *

-Kei POV-

Eyes. He remembered the deep, crystal blue, piercing eyes. Crystal, for while they were cold, could cut through you like diamonds, they brought the beholder such joy. To simply imagine being in the presence of this blue-eyed man, God's gift to women, left people everywhere weak-kneed and feeling faint. With one glance, he had the world. He held the hearts of millions in his hands; in a way that a flick of the wrist could send them spiraling into either oblivion or elation. However, he had eyes for only one person--the one he could, or should, never have.

-3rd Person-

There was a time where he, Gackt, did not always rule the hearts of all of Asia--before he reached fame, it was simply everyone in sight. At the age of twenty one, he met a woman, a quiet young thing with pretty, if not ordinary features. They soon married, and had a child. His eyes, if possible, were even more brilliant than his father's. Gackt soon found that he loved his son even more than he cared for his music. He spent every momnet he could with the boy, even skipping band practice and business meetings to spend time with the boy.

When he was no more than one and a half, his son grew incredibly ill with pnuemonia. He found the best doctor in all of Japan to care for him; as he was now raking in millions, he could afford to. As he walked into the waiting room with the sickly Sho, he soon found himself face to face wit none other than the one he couldn't have. He was relatively short, even for the Japanese; he had long dark brown hair, and the most alluring smile. The other man was currently busy with calming his own crying son, while battling with his agent over when he could go in to record his new album. _'Ah, son. That's right. He's married._ _Damn._' Gackt paused, as he realized, he _too_ was _married_, with a _child._ He could never be with him, and that irked Gackt to no end. He sat directly across the tiny room from the dark-eyed beauty. He played with Sho for a bit, feeding him then burping him, as was routine. He looked up, locking eyes with the now silent man. Something sparked between them just then, and Gackt knew he could fight it no longer. He would have this man by his side, one way or another. He smiled across the short distance at him, and, blushing, the shorter man returned the gesture. Gackt quietly introduced himself, shifting Sho in his arms to extend his hand to the other man. Unfazed by the Western gesture, he took it and shook it warmly, giving his name as well. Gackt couldn't fight the smile growing on his lips, so he stopped trying. This man had been his idol, followed by his secret crush for years. Perhaps it was possible that next they could be friends, or perhaps something more. He reluctantly let go of the hand, patting Soh on the back instead. The other musician mirrored his actions as they grinned across the room at each other. Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak, the nurse came in to call the other man's turn. Gackt could not miss the reluctancy in the man's movements as he packed up his things to go in. He smiled to himself. Perhaps he wasn't as unattainable as he had thought.

* * *

A few weeks later, at a party thrown by one of his record company's sister companies, he ran into the man again, this time at the bar and without their children. He gently poked the smaller man in the side, startling him and nearly making him spill his brandy. Gackt waved, grinning, before recognition dawned on the other man's features. "Hello, Gackto-san." he started politely. Gackt silkily replied "Please, just call me 'Gackt.'" He ordered two brandies from the bartender, one for his companion and one for himself. The brunette graciously accepted the drink, and the air between them grew lazily content as Gackt sat down on a barstool beside him, and they engaged in small talk. An hour or two later, Gackt's agent came by and coaxed him into speaking with several big-wig producers. He lamented leaving, but knew his staying would lead to questions, and he simply didn't want them to have to deal with that. He gently whispered his goodbye's in the other man's ear, not caring if that was going a bit far. His ego told him the blush on the older male's cheek was a reaction to him, rather than the alcohol coursing thickly through his system. An hour later, he returned to the bar, dejected to find the dark haired angel gone. As he turned to leave, the bartender stopped him.

"Excuse me, Gackto-san?" His crystal eyes pierced him. "A-ah, a man left this for you." Gackt calmly walked to the bar, taking the note from the nervous man. His eyes widened, and he had to fight to keep from laughing. _'H-his p-p-phone number?!'_

* * *

They began their affair shortly after that. Both felt a little guilty, but neither had had feelings for their wives in quite a while. They knew they wouldn't be able to hide it forever, and as Gackt was completely mizerable around the poor woman, he divorced her. Both men soon realized this wasn't just passing passion or lust; they had fallen hard enough to scrape their elbows, hands, and knees, give them a head injury, maybe even a concussion, and a tingly feeling that never seemed to go away. His partner, several months later (to not be too obvious, they avoided divorcing at the same time) divorced his wife as well. Little Sho now had two Daddies, both of which completely spoiled he and his brother. They were happy.

-Kei POV-

Several years later, when Sho was nearly four, the worst happened. Gackt fell ill with pnuemonia, the same strain Sho had had as a baby. During his brief stay at the hospital (for he had opted to be an outpatient and remain in his own home) due to his weakened immune system, he also contracted tuberculosis. As it was infectious, he was forced to stay in the I.C.U. There, he met a burn victim, who only wished to die. That was me. We spoke often, and I eventually told him what I was. I don't regret it, but it was a bit awkward at first. As it was, he was completely unsurprised by that; he claimed to see some sort of "aura" around me.

He's not the first to sense this, and he probably wasn't the last. When he learned I could only be killed by sunlight, he apparently made it up in his mind to convince me to protect his sons; not as a father, but as some sort of guardian angel.

Several weeks later, he lay on his death bed. Just before his husband (Yes, they had legally married.) and children came in, he called me over. (I was already healed of course; but the nurses had yet to look under the bandages, so I had been sitting around, enjoying the free blood while I could.) I looked over the beautiful man, who was obviously -even to humans- not going to live long. He had become my friend during our stay, my first in a long time. He tried to speak--the effort was immense, but unproductive. I leaned down so I could hear. In my ear, he begged me to watch over his family. I pulled back, and saw the astonishing amount of love shining in his eyes. Touched, I agreed, and went back to my bed.

His friends and bandmates, You and ChaChamaru were the first inside; followed by the rest of the band, his mother, and finally his husband and children.

Hours passed, and slowly they began to leave, one by one, as the pain became too intense. An hour later, he died in the arms of his love.

* * *

I learned, much later, that his husband followed him into oblivion not a month later. I wondered what would happen to the sweet, blue-eyed boy I had met, but the police were on my trail, and I couldn't stay, not even to honor my promise. I later learned that their friends You and ChaCha (also married) had promised to take care of the boys.

They were treated well, and were coping with their parent's deaths until Sho turned five. You and ChaCha had left the two boys with a baby sitter, while they snuck out to buy Sho a birthday present.

They searched through many stores that night, but could not find a single thing they felt the boy would like. Then, they found the bike store. You barely had time to park the car before a hyper ChaCha jumped out and ran inside. (I've learned all this second-hand, so how much of it is true, I am not sure.) They searched, looking at bike after bike, exasperating the poor manager, until an observant You looked in the corner.

Behind several boxes, he found a little blue bike. It was a simple contraption, the colour of the little boy's eyes. It was obviously a bit too large for him, but You said he would grow into it. ChaCha was delighted by the find, and promptly slammed some bills on the counter, startling the poor shop keeper. They finished paying and carefully loaded it into the car. ChaCha, I'm sure, chattered the entire way. As the normal route they took home was closed for construction, You drove down a back road, slowing down, careful of any creatures that may run in front of them. His caution, however, wasn't enough, as when he followed the curve of the road, the drunk driver behind them veered right instead of left, slamming into the back side of their car. You lost control, and the car spun into a tree. ChaCha managed to call an ambulance, but both were dead by the time the ambulance arrived. If memory, serves, when they pried open the doors, the pair were found with their arms around each other, locked in an eternal embrace. All attempts to pull them apart failed, and eventually it was decided they would be best to not disturb them, to leave them to peace. They were buried together, in what I suppose you could call a 'king-sized' coffin. God knows they deserve to be together after all they had suffered through.

The next part, I'm not completely sure about, and Sho was too young to remember. The two were sent to foster families; whether raised together or separately, I'm not sure. Again, death followed the poor boy. His foster mother and father were murdered, as well as one of the other children. He and Shinji managed to escape.

A year later, they found Toshi. Three years later, they found me.

* * *

(a/n) I feel sooooo guilty for this chapter...I didn't mean to kill every one off, I really didn't! But, I had to figure out a way to get Sho from Gackt's arms to Mallepa...and my twisted mind brought me this...ELEVENTY-SEVEN BAZILLION POINTS to WHOEVER can guess who Gackt's lover is! As always, con crit is truly appreciated--if you liked it, it really helps to know _what_ you liked about it. So please review! ^.^ Thank you, and good night.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: ...-dies of chronic nosebleed- If I only could afford to own them...

(a/n) I'm apparently going for a record number of postings this week...I figure that as much as I have already written up, and as I actually have a goal for this story, I can afford to post some more...

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Kei was ready to die. The only reason he had lived this long was to prove Luka wrong, to show him they could do _good_ as well. It had been nine years -give or take- since his death, and Kei only wished he could have done a full ten before he gave in; but his will was too weak. He sighed, remembering the promise he made to Gackt all those years ago. He was breaking his promise to him; all vampires seemed to suffer from this. _'Damn you, Luka.'_ Kei would have shouted this, but his throat was raw and tight from thirst. He could always bite his tongue or wrist to alleviate the pain with his own blood, but he couldn't bring himself to do something to make himself comfortable before death.

As the sun came near him, he had to fight the impulse to turn and run. He let the intangible rays engulf his hand. His only thought was how he longed for a cigarette to distract him. Odd. Now that he thought of it, vampires were remarkably like cigarettes. They can last for eternity, until they are lit, smoke and turn to ashes. _'Heh. But I bet one that old would be bitter.'_ He closed his eyes, chuckling to himself, bitterly. It was then that a little boy walked up to him. Kei caught his wrist as he reached for his watch, scaring the shit out of a child Sho. He glared at the child from under his blonde bangs. The child didn't look scared, so he glared harder. This just made the boy giggle. Kei couldn't help his eyes softening. The boy looked to Kei's watch, his eyes widening to the size of saucers when he saw his hand burning. His eyes went back and forth between Kei's face and his burning hand. He held up a finger, indicating that Kei should stay where he was. Since Kei would not be missing any appointments by lingering, he decided to humour the boy and stay.

Normally, his vampiric side would have gone insane near the boy after so long without blood; however, he was beyond the point of caring. He was surprised when the boy came back. The boy grinned, shaking some dust from his hair. It was then that Kei saw his eyes. The bluest of blue, so warm and clear, though still a bit reserved; guarded. _'Gackt...?'_ No...Gackt had died long ago, he'd seen it himself. This boy couldn't be his reincarnation, either. He was old enough to be Gackt's... _'Son.'_ Kei nearly fell out of the wagon Sho had put him in. _'I-it-it can't be! Sho?!'_ The little boy started humming to himself. Kei steadied himself, wrapping the blanket tighet around him. The boy had piqued his interest. _'I'll watch him, see if he really **is **the son of Gackt.'_

* * *

Sho sighed as he tried to feed Kei the gruel he had made for him. The strange man refused to eat it, regardless of what techniques the boy had employed. He had done everything he could think of--he tried reverse psychology; "Don't you eat this. Dooon't you eat this. No, you can't have it. It's_ mine._ So don't eat it. This, right here, do **not** eat it." The blonde had remained impassive. He tried the choo-choo, "Here comes the _traaain!_ Open up or it'll _crash!"_ Not even the _airplane_ or _spaceship_ could get through the impossible barrier that was Kei's lips. He sighed, taking a bite for himself.

Sho walked across the room in search of something, leaving the bowl there. When he came back, he found a cautious looking Kei smelling the gruel. Carefully, he lifted the spoon to his mouth. He took a bite, and nearly choked on the mountain of salt the boy had added. He went into a coughing fit, trying to keep from hacking it back up. His head snapped up as Sho burst into a fit of laughter so powerful it brought tears to his eyes. He glared at the boy, sitting back against the wall to sulk.

The jovial mood was broken by several claps. Kei turned to find an ugly gangster intimidating the other two boys, yammering in Chinese about stolen money. Kei watched as the mirth in the boy's eyes turned to fear. Sho or not, Kei knew he had to protect him. He signaled for the boy to run, thankful when he did so.

Before Sho had turned the corner, Kei began his attack. His ears stayed trained on the boy's footsteps, while his mind was focusing on blood. The man thrashed around, trying to protect his neck. Kei grabbed his head, turning it almost far enough to snap his neck. Sho was getting farther away, so Kei bit down, drinking away the evil man's life. As evil as the man was, his blood sliding down Kei's parched throat was sending shivers down the blonde's spine. Each sinful gulp warmed Kei from the inside out, and he let himself be lost to the sensation, forgetting the past, the promises, and his having yearned to die.

He let him go, just as Sho stumbled in. His head snapped up, awaiting the screams. When they did not come, his eyes searched the depths of the boy's. "You're not afraid?" Trust filled his eyes as he shook his head.

"Nope."

Slowly, a smile spread across the vampire's features. "Well, alright then."

-----------------------Kei POV-----------------------

I eventually figured out the truth--Sho really WAS the son of Gackt. He, of course, didn't realize this. His memories of his parents were few and far between. He barely remembered You and ChaCha, and it seemed as though he had blocked out the terrible memories of his foster family's deathes entirely. Not that I could blame him.

Sho is twelve now, and has grown significantly. He reaches to my shoulder now...at least. He's quite the little charmer as well, always conning the ladies next door into giving him sweets. I always warn him that if he keeps it up, one day he'll eat so many that he'll get sick and end up hating them. He never believes me.

He's a pain in the ass, but sometimes he can act so sweet...so I put up with it. Since he had grown up on the streets, he was already accustomed to sleeping during the day, and being alert at night. He began to stay up later and later, until, finally, his lack of sleep caught up to him, and he started sleeping through the night.

I had already begun to feel a certain fondness for Sho by then. So, one night, when he had had a nightmare in which his fathers died, and was laying beside me in my bed, I explained the meaning of his dream to him. I told him everything I knew about his fathers themselves; he wasn't ready for the entire truth, and I wasn't ready for him to know of the promise I had made concerning him. But I told him what I knew of his life before coming to Mallepa, phrasing it in a way that he wouldn't feel abandoned. Slowly, as memories of kind and gentle parents returned to him, the tears ceased. He even remembered his father's husband's face. "He looked like you, Kei!"

I'm sure that's why he felt safe near me, even when he saw what I am. He was far too young to remember me, especially after only meeting me a few times. His tears had stopped, and he fell asleep in my arms.

* * *

"Kei, what's this kanji mean?" A fifteen year old Sho pointed to a symbol in his book.

I was feeling lazy, so instead of getting up, I pointed to the book shelf. "There's a dictionary right there."

Sho pouted, a very cute and rather becoming look for him. "Ah, but it's all the way over there!"

I returned my arm to its original place, shielding my eyes from the glaring fluorescent lights. "So?"

His frown deepened. "SO, by the time I put my book down, get up, walk to the shelf, find the book and walk back, you already could have told me!"

I grinned. I couldn't help it. "You could've already found the answer had you actually bothered to get up."

Sho glowered at me from his position leaning against my couch. He swatted away my hand as it tried to poke him in the side. Getting up, he huffed and haughtily walked to his room. As soon as his door closed, an empty feeling started crawling its way through my chest. I had the sudden urge to walk to Sho's room and just be near Sho. I was in love with him, it was true. I remembered when I first realized it. I couldn't understand it. I couldn't be THAT attached to him, promise or no promise, could I? Why was I content to just _exist_ beside him? All those thoughts chased each other through my head. Until..._'Oh, god. I'm in love with Sho?!'_ How this knowledge shocked me, I'm not sure. Part of me resented him for giving me a reason -however shaky it may have been- to not give myself to the sun. All negative emotions dispersed as soon as he would appear, however. I had come to accept my feelings. _'But perhaps I should wait a while before I see if he accepts them too.'_

* * *

Several months later, just after his birthday, he confessed he harboured feelings for me, and beyond those of frienship. I nearly died right then. Rather than elation, I felt hollow. Now I would have to turn him down, for I had convinced myself that he was much too naive, and innocent, not to mention young, for an ageless vampire. It killed me inside, but I rejected him. I almost told him that I only stayed out of respect for his father; but I couldn't lie to him, especially not at a time like that.

"I'm sorry." He tried to hold his tears back. _'God, I really **am** a monster.'_ As much as I wanted to be strong, be the bad guy for his sake, I couldn't help when I brought him into my arms. I cradled him to myself as he buried his face in my shoulder. He clenched his fists around my shirt, and when I rubbed his back soothingly, he just cried harder. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes to half an hour, before his crying thankfully stopped. I moved us to the couch, and just like when he had nightmares as a kid, he fell asleep in my arms.

* * *

(a/n) Kyaah! I have so much of this typed up!! I couldn't wait a week to post...I'm just so excited to finally have a story with a plot! XD (It may not seem it yet, but eventually, the DRAMA will start!! Bwahaha!!)

Please review!! I'll be your best friend~~!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Warning...slightly gets maybe a little racy, I think? Possibly? Kinda, sorta, not really, but..yeah. XD

(a/n) I've upped the rating to M, officially... XD It will eventually get smutty...not overly so, but enough to be fun for me to write... XD

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The next few weeks were horrible for the both of us. We both knew that even though we may act the same, our thoughts about each other changed. He felt like shit because I had rejected him. And, hey! What a coincidence, I felt like shit 'coz of what I did too!

To the others, nothing between us had changed. In their eyes, we were still unnaturally close--which we still are. However, now there was a certain element of pain added between us. It would never change or go away.

* * *

Sho shot in various places, following my direction. Surprisingly, I didn't teach him how. It's apparent that he's a natural-born fighter; has been since the very first time he picked up the weapon. I threw him a thing of bullets, grinning when he caught it. "Good job."

"Shut up and help me!" Sho called semi-hysterically over his shoulder.

"Ah, but I could get shot! Don't you know it's dangerous to jump in front of a bullet like that?" My grin got bigger as I jumped in front of him.

"Asshole..."

I was about to say something back, when I spotted a bullet speeding straight towards him. I called out to him, but it was going too fast.

Just as it was about to pierce through his gut, I shoved him out of the way. He started to laugh and ask why I had jumped like that, when he saw the blood gushing from my chest. "KEI!?!!" He caught me in his arms, and carried me behind some crates. "Kei?" I was just short of unconscious, and Sho didn't know if I could take a bullet to the chest and still survive. It had pierced a lung, then straight through my heart. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice was laughing, saying that I not only broke Sho's heart, but now I had destroyed my own. I forced myself to wake up, to stop listening to the voice, and found that Sho was killing every one of them with a cold and deadly accuracy, screaming like a madman. I had never seen him in such a fury. I know it sounds very inappropriate, and it's rather out of place, but it was then that I remembered just how beautiful he really was. The wind whipped his braids around him, caressing his features as I longed to.

He finished them off, without my help or direction. I was still struggling for breath when he came back beside me. With the most serious of faces, he began to speak. The blood loss had left me out of it, and I had to force myself to focus on his voice. "Are you alright? Kei?" I tried to answer, but all that came out was blood. "Kei?" I was shaking violently now...my body was shutting down so it could reboot itself.

I tried to force my voice to work. In broken stutters, I answered. "I...I'll..._uhk_...b-b-be a-all r-right..." I willed my arms to obey me, as I wiped a glistening tear from my love's perfect face. He pulled me into his arms, one around my waist and a hand on the back of my head. He cradled me in his arms, my face buried in his neck. I played it off as if my nuzzling him had simply been me shaking, seeking warmth; however, I simply didn't want him to let me go.

We sat there, in the middle of a bloodied battlefield, for what felt like hours. I eventually stopped quaking, but our hold on each other didn't loosen. Just as it seemed that all of our pent-up emotions were going to shine through, Toshi burst into the warehouse. As he started screaming about how we were about to be surrounded, Sho stood, lifting me in his arms. My arms wrapped around his neck, and he looked down to me. God, I hope he didn't see the fear there.

Regardless, he walked on, crushing rubble under his feet, and only side stepping blood so it wouldn't get on his shoes, thus driving me nuts later. Never did he slow down, nor did he look back. Not once did he let me go. Damn it, I felt so safe in his arms...I nearly cried out when he let me go to set me down on the car seat. As I turned to him, doing my best to keep from being touched by the slowly rising sun, something in his eyes changed. Without hesitation, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine.

I didn't have time for my resolve to break; before I could reciprocate his feelings, tell him how I had longed for him for years, express how delighted I was at seeing the warmth melting the ice from his eyes, Toshi pulled him back, out of the way of gunfire. Before the smaller man pulled him around the other side, Sho slammed the door closed with his foot, protecting me from further injury. Toshi threw him into the other side of the car, before jumping in himself and speeding away.

* * *

Kei stole a glance over at his secret love, gasping when their eyes met. Without a moment's pause, the distance between the two was crossed, and they were in each other's arms.

Hands flew desperately, tugging at various pieces of clothing. A delicate hand slid under Sho's jacket, pushing it off his shoulder as Sho moved his lips to Kei's neck. The smaller man moaned quietly as Sho made a bruise there, massaging the tender flesh with his tongue.

He let Sho guide his body down until his back hit the seat cushion. The younger man climbed above him, slipping his hand under the vampire's shirt. He slowly stripped him of it, running his hands along his sides.

"Kei..." He dipped his head low, leaning down to softly caress Kei's nipple with his tongue. Kei wrapped his arm around the blue eyed man, groaning as heat began to pool in his groin. He nearly lost it as the talented man above him started to grind his hips against his own.

The blonde threw his head back, a low, gutteral moan escaping his throat. His fingers entwined in Sho's hair, pulling him away from his neck, and up to his lips.

* * *

(a/n) Reeeeally short...but it has been scientifically proven that when authors get reviews, they tend to update faster...and longer chapters, ne! So...how about a little science experiment? You review, and see what happens! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: Sprite! AS IN LEMON-LIME!! XD

(a/n) IT'S OFFICIALLY WINTER BREAK FOR ME!! WOOOOOOOOT! And, _wow._ I managed to keep you guys in suspense for like, less than twenty four hours. XD

Replies:  
Suicide in a bottle: I'm so glad you liked it! Really? Can't wait, huh? Well, don't worry. *posts chapter* There. XD

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* * *

Kei was snapped from his daydream when Sho repeatedly snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Kei?" His attention was brought from Sho's lips to his deep cerulean eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-Uhm, yeah. I'm fine." Sho touched the back of his hand to Kei's forehead.

"You seem warm." A quick-thinking Kei came up with an excuse for his pink and heated cheeks, as he brought Sho's hand down.

"Oh, it's probably just my body over-heating a bit, from the strain of trying to heal." Sho seemed to believe him. He started to run his hand through his hair, and he realized Kei was still clutching it.

"Kei? Is something the matter?"

Realizing his mistake, he released the human's hand. He looked down to the seat he had just been fantasizing about he and Sho _finally_ relieving all of the sexual tension between them on, wishing it would swallow him up. When he seemed to have gathered his thoughts, he looked up to find not only Sho staring at him, but Toshi as well. "Kei?"

Ashamed of his cowardice, Kei turned his body away from Sho, leaning against the window. "I'll tell you later."

* * *

'Later' turned out to be just that night.

As soon as Toshi left, Sho confronted me. "Kei..."

I wandered into the kitchen, pretending not to hear him. I opened the fridge, reaching for a beer. Unfortunately, he saw through my act and grabbed my hand. "Kei." I turned around, trying to push past him. I got far enough away that he was able to close the fridge, but I was caught before I could take another step. His hand tightened around my upper arm as I weakly tried to escape. Jerking me forward, I nearly landed in his arms, but just before I did, he shifted our weights so that my back collided with the refridgerator. He pressed his body against mine, pinning me there. A growl escaped his throat, and I couldn't help but shiver at the feral look in his eyes. I couldn't deny it. Having him so close was most _definitely_ affecting me. I just prayed he wouldn't notice my arousal. "Kei. Stop trying to run away." In desperation, I glared at him, trying to shove him away without letting him see just how much he was affecting me. I considered using my vampiric strength, but things were already strained enough between us. He grabbed my shoulders, forcing me back. I can't say I ever really liked being treated roughly; however, the way he was handling me now, controlling me, when he was normally so gentle, as if afraid to break me...I found my will beginning to crumble.

"Sh-sho...let me go." Defiantly, he refused to let go. I tried again. "Please, Sho." I let pain leak into my voice as I spoke. For his sake, I couldn't let him find out about my feelings for him. I couldn't let him be hurt.

His reaction surprised me. Rather than letting go and backing away, he pulled me into a tight embrace. As my need was still achingly apparent, I fought to get away. He just pulled me in tighter, prinning my arms between us, thankfully in a way that I was able to use them to hide my intense excitement.

I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat as Sho buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Please, Kei. I almost lost you today...please, don't push me away." I felt hot tears begin to pool against my shoulder blade. He squeezed me tighter as the tears came faster. Slowly, achingly slowly, against my better judgement, I returned his embrace, my arms around his shoulders, leaving my heart warm in his hands as I parted my lips to confess my feelings. Before I could, he looked up, gently kissing me. It was different than the one from before. That had been needy, searching for hope during such a dire time. This was tender, loving, searching, and so heartbreakingly sorrowful. I broke it, as it was too sweet for me to take. I leaned my head against the fridge, letting my tears silently fall.

Sho straightened, looking like he was ready to break. I gasped when I realized he was crying, when I saw he was heading to the door. I wanted to call out to him, but I couldn't find my voice. So I sprinted across the room, throwing my arms around his waist. He froze, then twisted his body so I was clinging to his front.

"Kei?"

I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could.

* * *

Kei stretched up, standing on his toes, and showed his feelings to Sho in the only way he knew how. Sho's eyes widened, feeling Kei's lips on his for only the fourth time in the last twelve years. Kei licked his lower lip, trying to coax his lips apart. His desperation was clear, as was his fear that Sho wasn't willing to accept him any longer. Just as the smaller man began to pull back, Sho's mind kicked into gear, and he pulled the blonde back against him, their bodies flush. It was the most passionate kiss yet, even more so than Kei's imagined one.

Sho entwined his fingers in the other man's hair, pulling Kei back as he tried ot break it to speak. He moaned into the younger man's mouth, his hands slipping from around his shoulders to his waist. Sho forced Kei's all-too-willing mouth open with his tongue, eagerly tasting the other man. Their tongues danced against one another's, and Kei gave up on hiding his arousal. As Sho pushed him against the counter, Kei bucked his hips upward, catching the younger man off-guard. After a bit of passionate kissing, Kei, afraid he was starting to take things too far, broke away. He brought his hands around to Sho's chest, leaning his head against the firm muscles. Sho remained where he was, staring down at the smaller man. "K-kei. What's happening between us?"

* * *

I looked up into his sky blue eyes. I saw so many emotions there; from confusion to pain, to elation, to even a hint of child like mischief. I wish I could say that we stayed like that forever. However, the bulge in my pants was starting to get increasingly painful. I sighed, clutching him to myself. "I-I don't know." I felt confident that I understood both of our feelings; but I wasn't sure if we could get it to work, especially considering our histories. I turned away, ashamed. He tilted my head to look at him with a finger.

"Do you love me, Kei?" he asked in a low, husky voice. The deep sound seemed to reverberate through me. I shivered, starting to sweat as the tension began to build between us.

"Y-yes." He pressed his body harder against mine, making sure to grind into my arousal in the process.

"Do you really?" I was clutching his shoulders, my head thrown back, crying out in ecstacy. _"A-ah! Yes!"_

He grinned, kissing along my neck. "Glad to hear it." I blushed as memories of my fantasy from earlier flowed through my mind.

"Sh-sho..." The bastard was enjoying this. He was torturing both my body and mind, and he was having fun doing it! (Granted, in his position, I probably would've done the same, but...) Him doing this to me, him giddily playing along, though he was obviously painfully erect as well--I was jerked harshly out of my musings as he forcefully gripped my need in his hand. I cried out, my nails now digging into his back. He chuckled as I turned red, and he leaned down to start sucking on my ear. _"Sh-sho!"_ I wrapped my legs around him, signaling a change in scenery was in order.

He happily complied, lifting me up and walking down the hall. I gave a high pitched whine when his hand left my arousal to support me, and I couldn't help the blush colouring my cheeks. I buried my face in his neck, trying to keep him from seeing my face getting so red. He opened the door to my room, setting me gently down on the leather cot there. He smirked down at me, stripping off his shirt. "Are you ready to show me just how much you love me, Kei?" I nodded dumbly, eyes closed as he crawled above me.

He pulled my shirt up and over my head, throwing it across the room to fall in a pile along with his. He licked his way up to my chest, pausing to gently trace the place where I had been wounded trying to protect him with a finger. "Sh-sho..." I wantonly spread my legs, reduced to begging for what I wanted. He abandoned my nipple, in favour of tormenting my neglected member.

My breath started ocming in short rasps as he worked me with his mouth. His sinful tongue was driving me insane as he licked down the bottom of it. My fingers tangled in his hair, I begged him to take me in deeper. He obliged, humming in reply. I called his name as I came, gasping through the after math. "Sh-sh-sho..."

Sitting up, he grinned down at me. "Yeees?" He drawled, his crystal eyes fixed on mine. So many questions were ringing in my mind, but I abandoned them in favor of telling him something I should have long ago. "I love you," He beamed. "...and I'm sorry."

* * *

Sho's heart stopped dead. Was Kei about to reject him again? Start spouting nonsense about him being a monster, him not being worthy of love, or he himself being too young, too naive, too human? Was he going to label it as a one-time thing? He couldn't handle it if he rejected him again. He'd rather Kei stabbed him through his heart than have him break it again. "What?" he finally managed to work out.

"I was so horrible to you back then. I'm sorry." Sho's mind was still frozen.

"Back then?" Kei looked away, hugging himself tightly.

"When I rejected you." he said, looking up to his new found lover. "I've been so terrible to you. So, I'm sorry." Sho let out his pent-up breath.

"Oh, thank god." Kei stared at him, confused. The younger man grinned, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss. When it broke, he pressed his forehead against the blonde's, still crouching above him.

* * *

"I was afraid you were going to reject me again." Kei's eyes widened, and he started gushing about how he had only done it because he thought it was what was best, and I was too young then, and being afraid to lose control, and I silenced him with my lips, kissing away his worries. His hold on me tightened, and I buried my face in his neck. "I love you too, Kei."

* * *

(a/n) 'Cuz it's winter break, I'll probably write more...and post less. :P I already have over fifty hand-written pages done...and I write really small. 8D

On a completely unrelated note, the other day I met a guy named Sho K. This made me giggle. He had Kei's hairstyle. This made me laugh. What made me laugh until I thought I would die from lack of air was the fact that he dreamt of being a porn star... XDDD Which of course sent my mind into overdrive, including random images of Sho and Kei...and pron starring... and lotsa lotsa nosebleeds. Lotsa. XD HAPPEH NEW YEAR!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

(a/n) Okay, I lied. I updated. Guess whaaaaaaaaat? I JUST WROTE MY LONGEST LEMON **_EVER?!!!_** **EIGHT** PAGES OF **SHOKEI** GOODNESS?!!!! Ah, but you won't get that 'til...forty pages from now. :P _BUAHAHA._EVIL, I KNOW. Just ask Jaded. XD Don't you just LOVE how FF's spell checker removes all the quotes? _Fun_, huh?

**Semi-important note at the end.**

* * *

* * *

We didn't bother to hide our relationship, and humorously enough, no one could tell the difference. We were usually able to keep our hands off each other in front of the others--every once in a while, though, we would slip and kiss.

Sho was still fairly new as far as dating goes, especially so considering I'm a man. He did mention that once, when he was fourteen, he and Toshi dated for about fifteen minutes before both got bored and started picking fights with the other.

I leaned my head against Sho's shoulders, perfectly content.

"Kei! How in the hell can you be so calm while Sho is driving like a fucking _maniac?!!"_ Son screamed at me hysterically.

* * *

Kei grinned, my eyes sliding shut. "I'm always calm around Sho." He chuckled through the awkward pause. Toshi shrugged it off, preferring to pick a fight with Sho.

"Yeah, I guess someone has to balance out this _baby's_ hyper streak!" Letting go of the wheel, Sho turned around to throttle the pizza boy's neck.

Kei laughed, not bothering to reach for the wheel. Son practically vaulted over the front seat, reaching over Kei to grab it. As Sho accidentally hit the brakes, Son flew from his seat, landing on top of Kei. Still holding the wheel, his arms were inadvertently wrapped around Kei. When they had stopped -in the middle of a highway, no less- Kei had lurched forward, his head hitting the dashboard and knocking him unconscious.

When Sho turned around, he found Son sprawled across Kei's body, limbs entwined, both groaning. His jaw dropped. "K-kei?"

Slowly, as his vampiric blood healed the concussion he had received, he started to wake. His eyes snapped open as he realized someone was on top of him, and Sho was screaming hysterically in the background. The person above him shifted, sitting up to straddle his waist. Slowly, the shadow above him started to take shape, turning into a man. "Son...?"

Realizing where he had fallen, Son jumped back, landing on a seething Sho. Said brunette practically threw him in the back seat, his foot slamming down on the gas pedal. Kei resituated himself, holding his aching head in both his hands. Sho didn't slow down until right before they got to Son's place. As they rounded the corner, he drifted around it, his tires screeching under the stress. He nearly lost control, but he had the power of both fury and maniacal determination on his side, so he was able to defy the laws of physics, coming to a perfect stop right in front of their building, even managing to parallel park. "'Bye." he scathed through grit teeth as he literally kicked both Son and Toshi out of the car. Driving off, he ignored the shouts of an fuming Toshi, preferring to take his anger out on the street.

Before Kei could ask what was wrong, they were down the street, in the parking lot, and up the stairs, Sho stomping straight into their apartment, Kei in tow. As soon as they were inside, Sho slammed his lips onto Kei's, forcing his mouth open with his tongue. Kei gasped, and when he remained unresponsive, he harshly bit down on Kei's tongue. The sudden pain both surprised and excited him--not that Keiw ould admit it, but he could be quite the masochist at times. _"Sh-sho...ah..."_

Sho pushed him up against the door, reaching behind him to lock it. He groaned as the taller man forced his legs apart with his knee, nudging his slowly awakening arousal. _"A-ah..._Sho..._why?"_

He halted in his ministrations, speaking against Kei'sneck. "Seeing Son all over you like that today...it pissed me off." He hissed as the brunette bit down on his collar bone. "I realized," he paused, grinding his hips down on those of the smaller man. "just how lucky I am to have you. Just how easy it would be for you to get, have anyone."

Kei furrowed his brow, flicking his tongue out to lick his lips. "But I only want you." He threw his head back as Sho pressed himself harder against him. He ran his fingers through the blue eyed man's hair, earning a groan of pleasure as he tugged at it lightly. Sho suckled his neck, slowly running his hand up under Kei's shirt.

"Kei..." He stripped them both, leaving clothes strewn down the hall as they made their way to Sho's bedroom.

"I love you, Sho." he smiled as the door closed and locked behind them. '_I always have.'_

* * *

-  
For quite a while after that, Sho got touchy -literally, in fact- every time Son's name was even _mentioned._ His pissiness and sex drive were both thrown into overdrive at those times, and consequently, so was mine. It eventually got to the point where if I was horny or Sho was talking too much, I would just pipe up and say "You know, I think I'll call Son up."

I probably should have felt guilty for using him like that, but...Well, in my defense, the vampiric sex drive is almost as powerful as our lust for blood. So it can't be helped, really! And you know, our, uhm, _need_, shall we say, heightens exponentially when a human is involved. Couple that with choosing that human to be your mate, and well, things get a bit, INCREDIBLY heated.

"Sho...we've got a job coming up. Sho?" I looked over to find my lover fast asleep on the couch, all six feet of him curled up in a little ball. God, for a sexy, grown-up man, he can be so damn adorable.

Looking around, I decided I would be resourceful. I walked over to the sink and grabbed a sponge, getting it sopping wet with icy water. I sauntered back to the couch, bending over the sleeping man. Bending down, I pressed the back of my hand against his forehead, sighing when I found it slightly feverish. Taking the large, sopping wet, yellow sea sponge, I gently laid it on his head. He moaned in his sleep, leaning into the cold. Grinning like a mad man, I put my hand atop the yellow sponge and squished it down hard, soaking his hair and face in freezing water. He immediately burst forward, a scream on his lips. He started screeching about how cold he was, and how I was ruining not only his hair and the couch, but his shirt, and something that sounded a lot like 'make up' as well.

I just giggled, putting my hands on either side of his waist on the couch, pushing myself up to placate him with a light peck of lips. He immediately stopped, apparently still half asleep. I lightly took his lower lip in my mouth, sucking and nipping it. With a bright blush, he innocently returned my kisses.

He looked down at me, leaning forward so our lips continued to meet pleasantly. He watched as my eyes slipped closed, his own lids soon lowering, the lust in his gaze evident. I pulled away, moving to kiss along his jaw. He moaned, obviously enjoying what I was doing to him. He groaned, pulling me up so I was standing above him. His hands, placed possessively on my hips, guided me down to sit on his lap. I straddled him, content with our closeness. Sho, however, wanted more.

He tugged at the hem of my shirt, signaling he wanted to feel me naked against him. Feeling defiant, I instead removed his shirt, throwing it over the back of the couch. "Kei..." He rolled his tongue against mine, running his fingers through my hair. I freed his braids from their restraints, preferring to run my hands through them. "Kei." I twisted above Sho, using my weight to manipulate him. I moved my hands to his bare chest, my hips pinning him in place. I leaned down to his neck, possessively leaving a light bite there. He gasped, turning his neck so I could have better access. I gently scraped my fangs against his skin while fondling him through his pants. He responded quickly, and in moments he was getting hard. I withdrew, bringing my hand back to his chest.

He pressed against my head, trying to force my fangs into his skin. I started to pull away, but he whimpered in response. In place of this, I unzipped him, revealing his weeping member. I heard gasping from above me.

I looked into his eyes and found the lust and love in there. Again, he pressed against my head. He gave me a stern, yet pleading look, and for a moment, my heart faultered. He wanted me to take his blood.

I leaned down, nervously licking my lips in anticipation of what was to come. My lips made contact with his neck, and he shuddered with desire. He yanked his pants off, lifting me and accidently thrusting into my arousal in the process.

The pressure was building deep in my gut. I wanted him -- I wanted him more than anything. "K-kei. Do it. _Now."_

Ignoring him, I resituated myself on his lap, grinding myself into his rapidly awakening cock. "K-kei..._Do it._ **Please."**

I slowly inched forward, pressing my lips to his skin. I gripped his member in my hands, pumping him as I kissed him. He thrust into my hand, craving more.

Gently, I let my fangs fall, grazing the skin between his neck and collarbone. I glanced up at him, and found him eagerly, yet somewhat anxiously, awaiting my bite. Without a trace of hesitation, I plunged my fangs deep in his neck, letting them retract after a moment so I could take his gift. He gasped in pain, before a low, gutteral moan escaped his throat. _"Gods, Kei..."_

I began to stroke him faster, raising his heart rate and getting more blood. I carefully kept the beast in check, letting myself savor Sho's uniquely sweet taste. He came in my hand and on his stomach, my name on his lips as he bathed in the aftermath of his orgasm.

I began to feel light-headed. Sho's musk, coupled with his moans and blood, was severely affecting me. I bit my tongue hard, letting our blood mix and heal us.

The mixture made its way down our bodies, soaking into my shirt and sliding down every curve of Sho's skin.

I hadn't taken much; just enough to let the pleasure overshadow the pain. He entwined his fingers in my hair, pressing a kiss to the top of my head as I watched to make sure my love healed properly. "Kei." Sho rasped, his breathing slightly ragged.

I leaned back so that we were looking near eye-to-eye. I looked him over. He was flushed, his hair dissheveled, and he was covered in love bites and marks, some old, some new. There was cum on his stomach, but I bent down and licked it away. He caught my gaze and smiled happily down at me. "What a pleasant way to wake up."

I grinned up at him, licking away the last of it. He pulled my head up, going for a kiss. I smiled through it. "Better than breakfast in bed, ne?" He swallowed, nodding his head. I laughed at the stupid grin on his face. "Dork."

"I love you, Kei." A smile graced his features. God, I'd give anything to always be the one to put a smile on his face. I crawled back into his lap, my erection momentarily forgotten. I cuddled up beside him, tucking my head under his chin. He loosely looped his arms around my waist. After a few moments, he shifted, nudging my little problem in the process.

"Mn..." I arched into his touch, the friction sending jolts of pleasure through my body. A wry grin spread across my love's face. He dipped his hand beneath the waist of my pants. I cried out as he gripped it, his gentle touches driving me mad. _"...nn..."_ He slowly unzipped my pants, pulling them down over my hips and freeing my erection.

I mewled his name, struggling to breathe through the pleasure. He leaned down to kiss along my neck. He sucked my adam's apple, which was, for some reason, driving me crazy. He bit into my neck, right by my collar bone, drawing the lightest trickle of blood. He licked it away, and a grateful moan escaped my throat. He bit down just a bit more, drawing my blood into his mouth. I wanted to ask why he was doing this, but I already knew the answer. He was letting me feel that there was a sensual, pleasureable side to the darkness, to feeding. He trailed upward, biting and sucking all along the way, his hands never stopping. As he came to my lips and pulled me into a kiss, I came. He continued to touch me as I savoured the blazing aftermath. I rested my head on his chest, pushing us down so our backs were on the seat cushions. I glanced up, finding my lover grinning dreamily up at the ceiling.

"Sho..." I patted his chest, trying to get his attention. He immediately gave it, kissing the top of my head.

"Yes, my love?"

I hated to spoil our blissful moment, but I hadn't roused him -no pun intended- for no reason. "We have a job tonight,"

His smile broadened. "Ah, can tonight get any better?"

I winced as I said the next part. "Son will be there, too."

Sho rolled over so he was atop me, fury in his eyes. **"WHAT?"**

Trying to diminish his anger, I brushed my lips against his neck, pulling him into a hug. "We need his help, Sho. Besides, he didn't do anything wrong." Sho began to passionately kiss me, his hands running up and down my sides. He gripped me to him, grinding his hips down on mine possessively.

"But he could have." I opened my mouth, letting him dominate me. _"Gods, I want you, Kei."_

My eyes lidded in pleasure, I whispered low in his ear: _"You have me."_ He gasped, knowing how difficult it is for me to open up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. When he didn't get it, I threw my arms up around his neck, driving my hips upwards into his. _"You _HAVE_ me, Sho."_

His eyes flashed in surprise, realizing just how much of myself I was offering him. "K-kei...A-are you _serious?" _I nodded, laying back, slowly opening my legs to him.

Shaking slightly, he stood up, taking me in his arms.

"Sho?"

He smiled down at me, joy dancing in his eyes.

"We're finally about to take our relationship to the next step, and you want to do it on the couch?" I blushed, turning away. He laughed, setting me down gently in the middle of his bed.

My heart began beating faster, a feeling of nervousness building in my chest. I hadn't been with another person in years, and _never_ had I been with a human. "Kei."

I turned my gaze from the ceiling to him, swallowing the lump in my throat. He stood at the foot of the bed, looking just as nervous as I. He slipped over me, putting an arm on either side of my head to prop himself up. "We don't have to yet, you know." I couldn't fight a tear at the love and compassion he was showing me, even after I had hurt him. "We don't need to rush things." He looked back to me and found the glistening tear. He wiped it away, brushing his hand through my hair. "What is it, Kei?"

I smiled up at him. "I just...it startled me, realizing how much I love you."

* * *

* * *

That night, as the couple snuck into the semi-deserted warehouse, they met up with Son. Sho's joy at finally getting to actually have sex with his lover completely eclipsed his pointless grudge against the Taiwanese man.

"You look happy." Son greeted. "What, did you finally get laid or something?" he joked, missing the bright blush that appeared on Kei's cheeks, as well as the gigantic grin that spread across Sho's face.

"Actually, I--"

Kei lept across the room, jumping between Sho and Son. "Really are excited about tonight's job, we know, Sho." He glared at the younger man, silencing him. "Son," he caught the other man's attention. "How many are there?"

Son shrugged. "Can't be more than twenty-eight. I'll go ahead of you two, okay?" he called to them, already heading towards a door.

"Fuck, that's alot." Kei muttered, running his hand through his hair. Sho wrapped his arms around Kei's waist, pulling him back to lean against him. Gently, he kissed his neck, smiling when the smaller man leaned into him.  
Sho...we have a job to do." As much as he wanted Kei, he knew he was right. He retracted his hands, instead placing them on the smaller man's hips. Kei turned his head, pressing his lips to Sho's. "I love you." he whispered against the brunette's petal soft lips. He stepped towards the door, pulling Sho along with him.

* * *

-

"Not much, ne?" Sho called to his friends, gesturing to the dead bodies littered across the floor. Kei and Son nodded in response. "Shall we go then, Kei?"

Son turned to look at the pair. As they walked away, Son stopped Kei, grabbing his arm. Kei swiveled around, eyeing him. "Something wrong, Son?"

The Taiwanese man loosened his grip on his arm, a worried look on his face. "Is something wrong with Sho?" Keipaled. "I-I mean, everything was fine, until the most recent time he nearly killed us with his driving." He grinned at Kei, trying to lighten the mood. Kei smiled, though anxious of what was probably going to come. "But, seriously. One moment, everything is normal and fine, then the next he's screaming at me and throwing me out of the car...then he doesn't want to talk to me at all for over a month. He shows up today, and he's all happy and talking to me again...What is up with him?"

Kei mulled over his thoughts a bit, wondering if he could trust Son. There had always been a certain..._familiarity _between them, like they had met before. Kei could never place the reason, though, as for the past few years, his attention had been completely focused on a certain blue eyed man... "I haven't noticed anything."

Son paused, analyzing Kei's obvious lie. "...Okay."

Just then, Sho called out to him. "Yo, Kei! You comin' or what?" Kei gave Son one last glance, before turning on his heel and jogging to Sho.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Sho grabbed Kei, lifting him in his arms, bridal-style. Kei laughed, kicking his feet merrily in the air. "Hahaha...dork!"

"I love you, too."

* * *

(a/n) I've just gotta say...isn't the idea of Gackt being in one of the Fast and Furious movies, drifting, hilarious? And so incredibly plausible? I was thinking that the entire time I was writing the bit about him driving home pissed... XD

OMIGAWSH, IT MAY ACTUALLY GET **SEMI INTO THE PLOT OVER THE NEXT THREE CHAPTERS?!!** Well, there was a bit in this chapter, you just don't know it yet...You'll see what I mean. And! I'm writing a **bonus chapter** about the **J-Rockers**...at least one, that is.

**_Forementioned note:_** I wanna do a collaboration fic. If you're interested, drop me a line via either pm or review. Both are appreciated, but of course, reviews are preffered! ;D


	6. Chapter 6

Pretty long chapter...it feels like it, at least...and gueeeess whaaaat? I'm giving you the smut early. ^^ **FIRST SMUT OF THE NEW YEAR!** WOOT!!

(a/n) Mm...not much to say for this chapter.

* * *

Sho flipped through his CD case, rather bored with the slim pickings he found there. He jumped up off the bed, crawling under it to find the tin where he kept his share of the money.

"Sho?"

He froze, all six feet of his body tucked away under his bed. He heard the door open, and he turned bright red as Kei walked through the door. _'Oh, shit. If Kei finds me like this...'_ Sho went beet red from smimply imagining the humiliation he would feel.

"Sho?" Kei stepped further in the room. "Sho?" Sho flattened himself against the floor, silently praying Kei wouldn't find him. He nearly cried out when Kei crawled on the bed, squishing the matress into his face. "Mn..." Sho waited until he was sure Kei was asleep, then crawled out. As he peeked out from under the bed, he came face to face with none other than Kei. "What are you doing?"

Sho let out a small squeak as an upside-down Kei stared at him. "U-uh..." Kei hopped off the bed, crawling underneath it with him. When he was completley under, he wrapped his arms around Sho's waist.

"Ah, I see why you like it down here. It's so...cozy." he added this last part after placing a kiss on Sho's lips. The brunette blushed, wrapping his arms around Kei.

"Mm..." After a few minutes, Sho broke the silence. "...my back is starting to hurt."

Kei nodded his agreement. "Same here."

Sho wriggled, trying to get free. "A little help, here?"

Kei just grinned at him. "What? Is Sho getting too fat to--"

**"I AM NOT FAT!!"**

Kei still had a crooked grin on his face as he continued to push Sho's buttons. A little while later, while trying to prove to Kei that he was in fact perfectly proportioned and muscled, he got stuck. Kei laughed as Sho thrashed about, trying to get free. _"Kei-ei!"_

With one hand, said blonde pushed the bed up, standing to lean it against the wall for Sho to get up. When he did, he moved to the side, setting it down gently. "What were you doing down there, anyway?"

This made Sho realize that he had forgotten to grab the tin while he was under there. "Aagh! _Damn it!"_

Kei wrapped his arms around Sho's waist, leaning into his chest. Momentarily distracted by the sexy man who was hanging on his chest, he shivered, losing track of his thoughts. He groaned as Kei's hands moved south, squeezing his ass. "Kei!" Sho sputtered, not used to having his lover ever be so forward.

"Mm...what?" Kei muttered, continuing to grope the taller man.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Sho's bright blush was rapidly returning as the blonde started to attack his neck with kisses, his hands staying in place, massaging th soft muscle there. "K-Kei...ah. . ." the shorter man managed to coax his lips apart, and was giddily battling for dominance against Sho's tongue. _"Mn..."_ he looped his arms around the vampire's waist, pulling him close. He broke the kiss, pushing the smaller man down on the bed. "Mm...you're downright evil, you kow that?" Sho grinned, stripping Kei of his shirt and kissing down his chest. He jumped when he realized the smaller man still had his hands on his ass. _"Keiii...."_ He whined when one of the hands left to relieve his lover of his pants. "Ah...God, I love you Kei."

This earned a small smile from the other man. "I love you too."

* * *

I woke to find that my lover had been watching me sleep. "G'morning." I smiled, nuzzling against him.

"Good morning." I pulled away, pressing my lips against his. He closed his eyes, a look of pure bliss gracing his features. "Kei..."

I pulled the sheets up higher on us, shivering a bit. "Mm?"

He wrapped his arms around my waist again, massaging my hips absent-mindedly. "I was looking in my money box earlier..."

I paled a bit. "Y-yes?" He hugged me tighter, letting a yawn loose.

"Did you slip some extra money in there?"

"I-It's possible..."

He lazily opened an eye. "Why?"

"I-I don't know...just in case you wanted to buy something special..." Kei blushed, his heart beating in his chest.

"Hm? Like what?"

"I don't know...I was kind of hoping you wouldn't notice it..."

"Why?"

"...I don't know." Kei wondered if Sho had really forgotten, or if he was just being coy. He looked deep into Sho's eyes and saw--Damn it. He really _had_ forgotten!

"Kei? What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing..." Well, there were still a few days between now and his birthday. He'd remember...right?

* * *

A week passed...two weeks passed...two and a half... _'AGH! DAMN IT!! HE **STILL** DOESN'T REMEMBER!!'_ I broke away from Sho's lips, hiding the small amount of dissatisfaction and anger I felt towards Sho.

"...Kei?" I walked to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. He followed me, closing the fridge after grabbing one for himself. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

I furiously picked at the pull tab until it snapped open. He moved his can away from his lips. "...Really."

I glared at him. "Yes. Really." I walked to the counter. Leaning forward against it, swishing the remainder of my drink in front of my face. He walked behind me, his hands on the counter on either side of me.

"Is that so."

Without turning around, I replied through grit teeth. "Yes. That's so."

He tried to wrap his arms around me, and I turned so I was face to face with him. "Really."

I pushed out of his arms, storming off. "Really." I chugged the rest of my beer, smashing the can and throwing it over my shoulder and into the trash. He set his down on the bar, chasing after me. He caught up to me as I plopped on the couch, kicking my feet out so they rested on the coffee table. Sho's eyes got big, for he had never seen me do that. His eyes clearly said _'Oh, shit. He's pissed. What the HELL did I do?'_ I silently fumed, my fury growing exponentially as he failed to see what he had missed.

"Uh...give me a hint?" I glared menacingly at him. "How can I apologize if I don't know what I have done?" My gaze hardened. "C-come on...just a hint?"

Grudgingly, I granted his request. "Tuesday. Two weeks ago."

He thought about it, and ten minutes later, he was still thinking. I grabbed a pillow, throwing it at his face as hard as I could. (Without hurting him...permanently, anyways.) "Gyaah!" He hadn't managed to block it, and a bruise was already starting to form on his eye, much to my satisfaction. I stood up, going to my old room.

I locked the door behind me, plopping onto my old leather cot, still fuming."Stupid Sho..." As I tried to get some sleep, a million thoughts ran through my mind. What if I wasn't important enough to him, what if he didn't care enough for me to remember my birthday, a day he had never let go uncelebrated before since meeting me. I fell into a restless sleep, the what-ifs caught in my throat.

I woke a few hours later, to find that I was in Sho's bed. "What the hell?" I stood up, opening the door. I jumped back as a tired Sho -who had been on the floor, leaning against the door- fell to my feet, his head hitting the floor.

"...ooow." I stepped over him, walking back to my room and laying down on my cot.

I looked at the wall, noticing that one of the decorative bars had been removed. My eyes narrowed, examining it from across the room. _'Sho!!'_ The idiot man had removed the bar so he could reach around and unlock the door, spiriting me away to his bed while I dreamt. _'But why?'_ Turning over so my back was to the door, I pondered this. A few moments passed, and without turning, I threw a pillow over my shoulder at my intruder.

_"O-ow!!"_ Sho put his hand to his other eye, wincing. "Kei! What the _hell?!"_

I glared at the wall. "Go away." The idiot just stepped closer!

"Not a chance while you're pissed like this." He leaned over me, his necklace beating against my shoulder. I turned over so I was laying on my stomach, my face straight down in the pillow. "Kei..." Sho climbed on to the bed, on all fours above me.

"Ghou ahveyh." Came my muffled reply. He stooped down, moving to kiss my neck. I scrunched up so he had nowhere to kiss. He tried to wrap his arms around me, but I pushed my hips down into the mattress so he couldn't get a grip. What I didn't expect, however, was for him to start sucking at my ear. I remember when Sho first discovered that I had a soft spot...He learned to exploit it whenever his usual methods of persuasion didn't work. I fought it for as long as I could, but I eventually caved, turning into a moaning puddle of goo in his hands. He turned me over, pulling my hips down to meet his. His hands pushed up my shirt, one wrapping around me to massage the base of my spine, the other moving to play with my nipple. I moaned, unable to resist him as he teased me like this. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, scraping my nails down his bare back, earning a groan of satisfaction from my love. I wrapped my legs around his waist, grinding our slowly awakening arousals together. He moaned, releasing my captive earlobe.

"K-Kei..." I grinned against his neck, flipping our positions. I kissed down his chest, stopping just before I reached the waistline of his leather pants. He opened his eyes, smiling down at me.

It was then that I remembered why this had started in the first place. _'Ah, that's right. I'm pissed at him. He forgot my birthday.'_ I gave him a sly look so he closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillows, thinking I was about to relieve him pleasantly. I raised myself above him, positioning myself so that I was right above his cock. He opened one eye, a boyish grin on his lips. I smirked at him, before letting my arms and legs buckle, crashing all of my hundred and thirty eight pounds on the delicate organ. He shot up instantly, contorting in agony. I just glared down at him, squishing it down with my ass in a way that made him scream in pain. I grinned maliciously as he tried to pry me off of his lap. I dug my feet and hands into the bed, using them as leverage to torture him further. When I felt he had suffered enough, and his screaming had started to give me a headache, I jumped off him and the bed, walking to the kitchen as if nothing had happened. About an hour later, as I sat at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper, my lover limped in, giving me the most pathetic look I had ever seen, then or since.

"H-hey, Kei." he said, forcing a smile. My little outburst had relieved much of my anger, but I was still slightly miffed at my man.

"Hello." I swiveled in my chair, bringing my glass to my lips. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw how pathetic and deflated he got. He sat down in the chair across the table, fighting back a sigh. I decided he had suffered enough. "Sho."

His head snapped up, and he smiled happily at me. "Yes, Kei?"

"Why do you think I got angry with you?" He paled, obviously without a clue as to why.

"W-well..." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and leaning back in my rolly chair.

"Birthday."

Sho drew a blank. "Birth...what?"

I glared at him, turning around. "Birth. Day." I growled, the syllables splitting into two seperate words as my anger began to resurface. The thought still did not register. I threw my arms in the air, crying out in frustration. "Birthday, birthday, **BIRTHDAY!"** Sho jumped back slightly as I slammed my hands down on both his arm rests. He glanced from my hands to my eyes, when suddenly, realization dawned on him, as if that was all he needed.

"Oh, god. K-kei, I-I," I glared down at him, our faces mere centimeters away. "I'm so sorry!" he breathed, an obvious measure of guilt and regret in his eyes. "I-I guess I just got s-so caught up in the fact that, that I finally got what I had always wanted; I forgot to plan for it, a-and you know how terrible my memory is..." I sighed, dropping my head in resignation. I let him pull me into his arms, balling up like a child in his lap. "Kei..." I looked up at him, tears in my eyes. He ran his hand through my hair, cradling me in his arms. I buried my face in his neck, letting go and crying. He kissed my head, rocking us back and forth. I started mumbling questions into his chest.

"D-did you really j-just forget?" He sighed, gripping my waist.

"Yes, my love." I glanced quickly at him, ducking my head back down when I found him looking back at me.

"A-and, you weren't just, just..." He pulled me back so he could wipe away my tears and kiss me.

"Just what, my love?"

"I...I was afraid you didn't care enough about me to..." I let the tears fall, shaking as he held me in his arms. "Nn...nn...!!"

"Oh, Kei, I--" he stopped, moving me so I was straddling him as he kissed me, his tongue sliding against mine.

"A-ah..." I wrapped my arms around his neck, twisting my hands in his hair.

"I love you, Kei." He pulled me closer, rubbing his hands up and down my inner thighs. I moaned into his mouth, my tears forgotten for the time being.

My moans grew louder as he lightly sucked on my tongue. I clung to him, bucking my hips as he gripped my need in his hand. "Kei, how can I make it up to you?" I panted hard as he worked me with his hand, my head lolling to the side. Sho took advantage of this and started to shower my neck with kisses. I strung my fingers through his braids, pulling him closer to me. He traced a hand up my waist, moving to my chest, then sliding it under my jacket and pushing it off my shoulder. His other hand shifted on the small of my back, dipping below the waistband of my pants to massage my ass. I moaned, arching into his touch. His right hand slipped under my black tank top as his left continued to massage the soft muscle of my backside.

"Sh-sho..." I gasped when I felt him probe at my entrance, dipping the tips of his middle and index fingers inside. I groaned in pleasure, his name on my lips as his right hand moved to play with my now painfully hard member. I shook violently as he pushed farther into my quivering entrance. "A...ah!! _Sho...!"_ It was then that the door opened, revealing a stunned Toshi. Our heads snapped over in his direction, too shocked to even blush. Toshi leaned out the door, calling over his shoulder to someone.

"You owe me 10,000 yen, Son!!" then slammed the door behind him. A few moments passed awkwardly.

"O-okay, then..." Sho turned to look at me, kissing me on the nose. As I leaned forward to kiss him, I cried out, realizing his fingers were still buried deep within me.

"Sh-sho...!" He smirked at me, grinning as I writhed above him when he brushed against my prostate.

"Kei..." He moaned my name as I rubbed my hand against his cock. He grabbed my hand, looking me in the eye. "You're so beautiful."

I nearly came as he crooked his fingers, pushing straight into the bundle of nerves, sending fire shooting straight up my spine. "I," I gasped, pushing against his fingers. "I love you." He slowly unzipped my pants, revealing my sobbing erection. He scissored his fingers in me, driving me insane with anticipation of what was to come. I threw my head back, my eyes snapping open and my voice catching as he reached in deeper than ever before. "I, I want you, Sho." I gripped his shirt in my hands, pushing down on his fingers, driving them farther into me. I hung my head, letting the sensations overwhelm me. I whimpered as he removed his fingers, nearly falling off his lap as he stripped me. I sat back on his lap, my lover half completely exposed, and screamed as without hesitation, he slammed himself into me in one sharp thrust. Tears came to my eyes as the pain grew more intense. He buried his face in my neck, gripping me tightly to him. "Sh-sho..."

I trailed off, groaning as my body became accustomed to the pleasurable pain. When a numbing feeling started to take over, I clenched and unclenched around him, willing him deeper within me. _"Mn..."_ I winced, shifting slightly. "Sh-sho. M-more..." He stood, pushing me down onto the table in front of us. I let my arms lay above me, and moaned as he pulled out of me. "Sho..."

I screamed again and again as he mercilessly pounded into me, my hips bucking against his as we began a steady rhythm. I gripped his shoulders tightly, my fingers digging into his back as his hand pumped me faster and faster with each mind blowing moment. He slowly licked up my neck as he hit my prostate dead-on. I was getting close, so close--my voice was hoarse with screaming, tears of pain remaining unshed in my eyes. I was slack-jawed, lost in the ecstacy of finally having what I had dreamt of night after night for years, hidden stealthily with the excuse of nightmares of my maker. Searing liquid fire seemed to coarse through my body as my lover repeatedly hit my prostate, not missing it once. "Kei...Kei." he buried his face in my neck, his hot breath driving me crazy. I arched my back off the table, screaming his name, now begging for release. He roughly squeezed my sac, making me choke on a moan.

"Sh...Sho..." The pressure was building within me, and I was left with vocalizing my need. "P-please...m-make me c-come..." He obliged happily, stroking me while he bit into my neck, never stopping his wild thrusts. Not a minute later, I came hard in his hands.

I gasped, my nails digging further into his back. "Sh-sho..." he smiled down at me.

"Y...yes?" I pulled him into a kiss, gasping as we broke away, him never ceasing his relentless assault on the tender ball of nerves within me.

"C-come inside me." He rolled his hips in reply, forcing me harder onto the kitchen table. He continued to slam into me, coming deep inside me mid-thrust moments later. He rolled our hips, savouring the feeling of being within me. He reluctantly pulled out, half collapsing on top of me. Our hearts were beating impossibly fast, our hot breaths mingling. He reluctantly stood, pulling me up with him, holding me tightly in his arms.

"Forgive me, now?"

I grinned, kissing his neck affectionately. "Mm...maybe."

He stared down at me incredulously. "Maybe? _MAYBE?!!"_ I nodded. "Well," he grinned. "I guess I'll have to finish making it up to you in the bedroom, ne?"

I grinned back. "I suppose you wll." I laughed merrily as he started to dance us to his bedroom, dipping me low every few seconds. "Ha...what _are_ you doing, Sho?"

He chuckled, his petal-soft lips turning upwards in a lustful smirk. "I'm sweeping you off your feet, of course!"

I laughed as he picked me up, bridal-style. "Ah, my knight in shining leather, are we?"

He paused, kissing me passionately. "Why, yes. Yes I am. But does that make you the lovely maiden, or the damsel in dis--"

I smacked the back of his head. "I am _neither _of those!"

Sho kicked the door open with his foot. "Fine, then. Will you at _least_ be my one-and-only lovely, lovely, Kei-chan?"

"...fine." I grudgingly agreed, grumbling, though secretly happy. I leaned my head against his chest, grinning impishly as the door closed behind us. Time to open my present.

* * *

(a/n) I really wanted to make under Sho's bed like...toxic or something. XD At least with a few creatures crawling around...but that made it less fluffy. Psycho Kei amuses me. While I was writing the part just before Toshi walks in on them, I was listening to my ipod on shuffle...and what song should come on but 'Let's Face the Facts (GUY LOVE)' from Scrubs? XD Ah, I love Scrubs...Now that I have reread it, the smut isn't that great in my opinion...I may go back and fix it later.

Oh, for those of you reading hIm and New Moon: Both are on hiatus until further notice. Sorry.


	7. Chapter 7

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, ANYBODY, OR ANY LYRICS EVER MENTIONED EVER IN THIS FIC, UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED. ...I do keep Hyde locked in my linen closet, though. He's small, so he fits. XD Right beside the vacuum cleaner...? XDDD

(a/n) I _had_ wanted to wait until I got some more reviews to post, buuut...I really couldn't ignore the rabid plot bunny gnawing at my arm...

* * *

* * *

Sho

I paused in my writing as a particular song came on my CD player.

I had been listening to alot of the classics lately; namely, a pair who were famous right before I was born: Gackt and Hyde. It was funny, how their lyrics seemed to be written to each other; what was even more strange was the way some of their lyrics seemed to be written for Kei and I. I grinned as I started singing along to the song currently playing. _"Negai tsume wo taterareta boku~~!"_ (1)

* * *

He had the decency to blush as he remembered what had taken place between he and Kei just the night before. He ducked his head into the pillow, rolling around like an excited child, kicking his feet, his cries muffled in the pillow. Realizing that his lover could walk in at any moment to find him spazzing, he abruptly stopped, switching the song to stop his perverted chain of thoughts.

He smiled softly as he listened intently to the lyrics of the new song playing in the background. It was by Our Lady Peace, an old song called 'Somewhere Out There.' It was the theme song for he and Kei's first meeting and early years. He continued to smile as he fell asleep, just before Kei walked in. The blonde smiled down at him, slipping into a pair of sweat pants and a tank top before pulling up the blankets and sliding into his arms. He fell asleep to the soft music.

* * *

A child Sho snuck into the boarded up wing of the hospital where Shinji had told him not to go. He had had a bad feeling about that place, and didn't want something to happen to his little brother, even if he could be a pain in the ass. He gasped upon finding someone who looked incredibly familiar...he just couldn't place him. Feeling he was in no danger near the stranger, he giddily skipped up to the blonde. "Hiya!"

_'Last time I talked to you,  
You were lonely and out of place.'_

He glanced in my direction, beautiful brown eyes glazed over and dead. How I hated to see anyone so distraught and saddened. I held out my open hand, and smiled as he hesitantly put his trembling hand in mine.

* * *

Time moved forward. It was later that night, well after sunset. We walked happily, -well, I was happy, anyway- through the shadows. I pulled him along by the hand, glancing through the deep blue night. I smiled up at the stars, lost to the wonders of the beautiful world of darkness.

_'You were looking down on me,  
lost out in space.'_

You crouched down to my level, sitting back on your feet. You smiled every now and then, as if you had finally found some hope. You pointed out what few stars we could see through the smog and lights of the city, naming them as you went. I never thought one person could know so much about anything. You taught and gave me so many firsts, Kei. And this was only the first one.

_'Laid underneath the stars,  
Strung out and feeling great...'_

We laid out the blanket I had covered you with on the ground. I plopped down, and with a sigh, you did the same.

_'Watch the red-orange glow,  
Watch it float away.'_

We watched as the last few rays of sunlight were chased from the skies overhead. I was twelve, and we had long since found a home for ourselves. I plopped down between your legs as you stretched, making you smile. You pulled me into your arms, pressing a kiss to the top of my head affectionately before beginning a less than silent assault on my ribcage. Yes, it was the dreaded tickle attack.

_'Down here in the atmosphere,  
Garbage and city lights...'_

I watched from my perch at the window as you drunkenly stumbled through a dark alley, tripping over your own feet every so often. I was almost sixteen, and desperately in love with you.

_'Gonna save your tired soul...'_

I took the stairs three steps at a time, rushing to your aid. I had seen a group of men attack you--you were not only to 'drunk' to care, but too depressed as well. I dropped to your sife, pulling you into my arms. You were covered in blood--I could tell that it wasn't just your victim's. I cradled you tenderly, wishing more than anything that I could kiss you until you saw the light.

* * *

Time blasted forward again; this time I was nineteen, and we were going on the biggest mission we had had yet. You were as ageless, feral, and unattainable as ever. Even I couldn't lay claim to you; I feared if I did, you would break or run away.

I looked at you, breathing deeply to calm myself as I took in your various features. I let my eyes run freely over your unusually uncovered body. I'd never seen you expose more skin that that on your arms and face. Tonight, however, seemed to be different. Your usual baggy slacks had been replaced with incredibly tight leather pants, that, trust me, clung in all the right places. Your long sleeve shirt was gone; in its place was the tightest shirt I had ever seen. None of my shirts even held a candle to yours. If that wasn't enough, it was cut so low that if you had been a woman, you would have been scandalized! You called my name--both the real you, and the one I was slowly undressing and deliciously molesting in my fantasy. I quietly excused myself with the explanation of needing to find some spare ammo. I went to my bedroom, the room I had dreamt of taking you in countless times, and ran to the closet, locking myself and my raging hormones inside.

_'You're gonna save our lives...'_

You hoisted us up, tossing us behind some crates. Toshi yelled, panicked, until he realized we were to land on a pile of bean bag chairs. I swear, I'll never understand these gangsters and their affinity with childhood toys.

We ducked down to avoid getting hit. I nearly had a heart attack as I heard a barrage of bullets being shot in your direction. I was about to jump to your aid, when I heard a garbled cry that could mean only one thing--you'd been shot, and in a place where if you were human, you'd be dying. I readied my gun, jumping over the crates to come to your aid. I aimed my gun in front of me, glancing around to find that any potential opponent had already been disposed of.

I watched, hypnotized as you drained the leader. The pure eroticism of the way you feed never ceases to amaze me. The reason I refuse to watch you feed Kei, is not because of disgust--I don't want you to find how I _still_ lust after you with every fiber of my being. It isn't just your body or your love I want; it's the dark part in me, that yearns for you to take what should only ever be mine. I want you to bury your fangs deep within me, claim me as yours, because you're too wild for me to claim for myself. I want you to touch me, in ways I've never dreamed of being touched. I wish desperately for the violations you could commit; I want to feel your teeth glide along my skin as your tongue laps possessively at what is rightfully mine. I want to cling to your body, feel as you take me, and take me deep; deep into a world where we could stay like this, forever, never ceasing in our dance of darkness. (2)

You drop the body, licking at the last little bits that are staining your chin. I walk back behind the crate, glaring and smacking Toshi as he playfully nudged me, obviously spying my arousal. "What, seeing your little lover kicking gangster ass in that tight leather got you hot?" He said, as well as several perverted comments I made sure to get back at him for later.

I turned to find you sauntering toward me, hips a-swaying, with eyes that hid surely provacative thoughts. In a heartbeat, you were beside me, Toshi forgotten. I glared down at Toshi, and he caught the message, crawling away quickly. You brought a hand to my cheek, lips parted, tongue flicking out temptingly, with just the absolute sexiest smirk on. God, I love it when you're drunk. I shuddered with the effort of trying to keep from jumping your bones right then and there. You, however, mistook this for disgust. You lightly patted my cheek, before walking away dejectedly.

* * *

Another time skip. It was only a few weeks later. I could tell you remembered what had (or rather, _hadn't_) taken place that night, as you were even more distant than before. The slightest brush of skin, and all walls completely went up. I was fed up with it.

"Kei!" You turned to look at me, but you hesitated, and were too slow. By the time you realized what was going on, I had already hoisted you over my shoulder. You started thrashing about. "Calm down, Kei-chan. Calm." I playfully hit the only area I could reach; is it my fault that that area just happened to be your ass? You immediately quit thrashing, and were reduced to being a stuttering mass. I carefully gripped your waist as I carried you down the stairs. Your scent was driving me crazy. It was certainly the most pleasant torture I had ever faced.

"Sho?" Without opening the door, -yes, I was showing off, I admit it-I set you inside the car.

"Yes?"

You closed your eyes as I brushed your bangs behind your ears. "_What's_ going on? _Where_ are you taking me?"

I smiled down at you, caressing your cheek. "We are going for a _drive,_ Kei-chan." You blushed slightly, finally noticing the change in how I said your name.

_'Turned on the radio to find you in satellite...'_

I slid into the seat, grinning discreetly as I 'accidently' slid too far, brushing against you, our faces dangerously close. You broke eye contact first, instead staring down at your hands in your lap. I pulled away, clearing my throat awkwardly as I reached for the radio dial. You refused to look anywhere but your clasped hands. I sighed. Getting us back to a comfortable level would not be easy, but I knew there was no other choice. I was still in love with you, even after you so harshly rejected me. I was never one to give up easily--you of all people should have realized that. I glanced your way. But damn, you were making it hard. (3)

_'I'm waiting for the sky to fall...'_

I accelerate. We're on the open road now, with no one else anywhere in sight. I could tell you were loosening up, just by the change in the air between us. You always did like these drives, didn't you?

_'I'm waiting for a sign.'_

I moved my hand to the stickshift, changing gears. I glanced in the review mirror, conveniently angled in such a way that I could look at you without your knowledge. (Wow, that doesn't make me sound like a pervert _at all.)_ Our gazes met. I looked away, blushing, as I tried to slow my heartbeat. It soon stopped dead, however, as I felt your hand rest on mine. My head snapped over to look at you, eyes wide. You smiled reassuringly, squeezing my fingers with your smaller hands. All negative feelings dissapated in that moment. The moment in the warehouse was behind us, and time moved forward again.

* * *

This time, I was twenty. You were gone, and I never knew if you would be coming back. If I had truly lost you, after all that we had been through--if even you deserted me like my family did, I would have no idea what to do. Toshi and Son tried to keep me busy, but when I would finally break away from them, all I would do was brood.

_'You're falling back to the me  
__The star that I can see.'_

I made my way through the night, avoiding street lights where possible. I heard someone pray for mercy, somewhere. They obviously hadn't known that the only gods here are those of Death.

That used to be us. But I can't do it without you, Kei. I won't let myself.

_'I know you're out there,  
Somewhere out there.'_

I leaned against the wall and gasped as I felt my heart clenching in my chest. I'd been weak since you left--so, so weak...I tried to squash the hope that someday you'd be back, but my heart...my heart wasn't let me.

_'You're falling out of reach,  
defying gravity.'_

God, Kei. Why would you do this to me? Why would you leave? Even if you hadn't known about my feelings for you, you would have realized that your departure would break me in a way that I could never be completely together ever again.

_'I know you're out there,  
somewhere out there.  
Hope you remember me when  
you're homesick and need a change.'_

I stumbled into the apartment, dropping my things to the floor. Each day I grew in despair, and the future seemed more and more desolate. "Kei. Kei..." _'Kei.'_ Although it hurts to remember, it's even worse when I realize I'm starting to forget. Come home..._please..._

_'...I miss your taste...'_

God, what I wouldn't give to have you with me right now....to have you in my arms. I would never let you go, Kei. Never.

_'I know you'll come back someday,  
On a bed of nails, I wait.'_

I keep imagining you, all alone in some alleyway. What do you think about when you manage to stay awake? Do you still sleep through the hunger, or do you feed now? Do you think of me? Do you remember me? Do you even know why you left, or did you just run to be free? Do you still dream? If you dream, do you dream of me?

_'I'm praying that you don't burn out,  
or fade away...'_

I remember nightmares, night affter night, of having you back in my arms, just for flames to engulf you, turning you to ashes before burning me to death. It never stopped until the very end. Every moment of burning, every pain of searing flesh was felt. Is this how it feels for you to be in the sun, Kei? Is it? How did you bear it on that day we met?

_'And all we are is all so far.'_

I've changed, and I hate it. Shinji tried to offer me his escape. In a moment of desperation, I almost accepted. Had Toshi not burst in with news that he had seen you in the south ward, I would've. I was gone in a flash, heading home, where I knew that if you wanted me, that's where you'd be waiting. I burst throught the door, saw you lying on the living room couch, one leg propped up, the other bent, your arms wrapped around your stomach. You arched an eyebrow at my disheveled appearance, murmering in your quiet way. "Hey, Sho."

* * *

(1) It's a song fic. I wouldn't ever forgive myself if I didn't throw my favorite Vanilla line in there. XD (Means something along the lines of 'Your long fingernails have got me erect.' I, however, am currently too lazy to look up the exact transation.)

(2) Hell yes, there's double meanings in that. XD Triple, even, if you look really close.

(3) That too. XD

(a/n) Relatively short, but had I not stopped there, you would have to wait awhile for me to finish it. Ohmigawsh, I'm getting the Moon Child photobook?!!! -dies- IT IS KILLING ME TO WAIT FOR IT TO ARRIVE. -impatient-

Review! Or the flying koi will eat you! (if you got that joke, I love you. XD)


	8. Chapter 8

WARNING: SUPER LONG, AND SO MUCH MANSMEX, OHMAIGAWD.

(a/n) ...I didn't realize how long this chapter was...and this is like, a super smut chapter...I almost added another two scenes in there at the end, but I didn't want to give anyone a heart attack. (edit 01/22 : ...I added more. Damn it...) XD I think I took one out, though...I can't keep track. XD This fic is like, a lemon TREE or something... By the way...when Kei leaving is mentioned, it's not after Toshi's death...'cuz Toshi isn't dead. Remember, he interrupted the smut? So he can't be dead, and it's an entirely different instance, blah blah blah... -rambling- Why didn't anybody point out these chapters were morbidly short? XD I guess this one makes up for it, ne?

* * *

* * *

I woke, head swimming with memories. Turning over, I pulled Kei close to me, resting my chin on his head. He slowly awoke, nuzzling into my chest. I smiled, rubbing his back softly. "Good dream?" Kei looked up blearily.

"Mm...very." He pressed his lips to mine, making me smile. "It was about us."

My grin grew then, as I gripped at his hips, making him laugh. "Mm, It _must_ have been good then."

He chuckled, moving my hands back up again. "Not _that kind_ of dream. It was about when we first met...all the way up until I...came back." Kei looked to the pillow, avoiding my gaze.

I pulled him up, looking into his eyes. "...so did I." He nearly gasped, but caught himself, turning it into an awkward cough. I laughed as he started to turn red. He paused, listening to the song in the background. It had been on repeat the entire time we had slept.

"That explains it..." he muttered, tucking his head under my chin again. I sighed. That dream had reminded me of so many things. I remembered all the good times...I remembered when I fell for Kei, and realized that I had almost lost him on several occasions. Which reminds me. "Kei, why did you leave?" Kei's head snapped up, accidently slamming into me. _**"OOOOW?!!!"**_

"Sorry! Sorry, sorry..." He bowed apologetically. I gripped my jaw, wincing slightly.

"'Salright...but, tell me?" He paled, the most forlorn expression on his angelic face.

"I...I..." he turned over and away from me. Whatever the reason was, it was obvious that that time hurt him as much as it hurt me.

* * *

* * *

"Kei..." I tried to grip your shoulder, but you just shrugged it off. I didn't let it hurt me. You started shaking. _'You're not crying, are you, Kei?'_ I leaned over you, peering into dry eyes. There were no tears, but seeing that desolation, that despair, in those beautiful green-brown eyes was even more heartbreaking. I sighed, pulling you into my arms, wrapping them tightly around your shoulders. Your hands went under my arms, hooking around and gripping my shoulders. You eventually stopped your shaking. I looked in your eyes. Even now, when it was so obvious that you were hurting, you wouldn't cry. I envied your ability to always stay so strong. I captured your lips, kissing you passionately as I soothingly rubbed your back. "It's okay, Kei. Just promise me," I grinned down at you. "You'll tell me before I die." I thought you would laugh, but to my surprise, you let out a sob. I watched as you broke. I could have shot myself for being so stupid, though that probably would have sent you over the edge. You were a sobbing mess, doing your best to hold your tears in. I held you close, whispering apologies in your ear. The dream had made you realize that I was growing up...that I would die. We had always known this, but when we're both so happy, when we finally accepted our feelings and confessed...I'm not about to let the what-if's ruin this for us. "Kei. Kei. **KEI."** You reluctantly looked up, tears in your eyes and on your cheeks. I cupped your face in my hands lovingly. I took a deep breath. "...get over it." You were confused at first, then it turned to anger, and finally, pure fury. You threw the blanket over us off of you, standing up, and heading back to your room. I sighed. I had figured that would be your reaction. I followed you to your room, carefully removing one of the metal bars so I could reach around and unlock the door. I pulled back in alarm, gasping when a pain shot through my arm. I looked down, and saw an imprint of your teeth (minus your fangs) there. "You...you bit me!" A snicker. I glared at the door, kicking it open. _'...it wasn't locked.'_ I turned bright red as you almost started laughing. Almost, because you were still too pissed at me to laugh at my stupidity. I nervously fidgeted, _'Damn it! Why the hell am I nervous? It's just Kei for Kami's sake!'_ Nevertheless, I continued to fidget. "U-uh, K-K-Kei?"

---------------

His chuckles tarpered off into silence. "I didn't mean it like, like _that_. I just meant..." He looked up at me expectantly. I stopped, suddenly regaining my confidence. "I meant that we're together now, and I'm sick of all this I'm-a-monster,-I'll-watch-you-die bull shit. If it really matters all _that much_ to you," I paused, pulling off my shirt and angling my neck. "Then change me."

He sat there, stunned. I had never spoken to him like this before. He had heard me speak that way to other people, but I was never anything _close_ to aggressive to him. He paused, realizing this too. It was obvious from the look in his eyes that he was realizing just how much I cared for him; however, the line in his mouth said there was no way in hell. "If it's as I think, and turning me is a 'no,' then shut your mouth and quit your bitching while we got it good." My tone was a mixture of smartass and gentle...how I pulled that off, even I don't know. Regardless, it seemed that he was finally going to just let it be, no more brooding, no more angst...at least, not about that. "Now, c'mere." I held my arms wide, and you slipped into them, wrapping your arms around my waist and clasping your hands together. You rested your head on my chest, sighing. "I love you, Kei." You looked up, an unrecognizable emotion in your eyes.

"I love you too."

* * *

I hung my red jacket on the coat rack by the door, listening to the soft music playing in the background. Sho had been listening to a lot of music lately, especially some of the older stuff. I paused, listening to the song. I dropped my keys as I recognized it. "Oh, no." It was Gackt.

_'Bathed in the cold wind Imagining these feelings night after night.  
...Where can I go so that the sadness of being alone will disappear? "I h a v e t o m o r r o w......" '_

I stumbled into Sho's room, tripping over discarded clothes on my way in. "Sh-sho!" He grinned over at me from his bed.

"Sorry about the mess, Kei. Well, half of this is yours, buuut..." he chuckled as I stepped around piles of clothes and other things.

"We really need to clean up in here." My lover yawned, turning over on the bed, his back to me. "Meh. Later..." I glared at him, before remembering why I was there in the first place. "U-uh, hey, Sho?"

He glanced over his shoulder at me. "Yeees?"

I listened to the music, getting caught up in the memories and the meaning of the new song playing. "Where did you get this CD?" Sho shrugged.

"One of the pawn shops." I sighed, nodding. I walked over to its case, turning it over in my hands. I got to the lyric book and took it out. I flipped through it, nearly having a heart attack as I read the 'Thanks' page. It read: _'For my beloved son, Sho.'_ It was simple, but made it obvious enough that, if Sho thought about it, he might realize...

"Hey, Kei-chan?"

I dropped the case, immediately sweeping back down to pick it up. "Y-y-yes, Sho?" I tried to hide the nervous tone in my voice...it didn't work.

"I was just wondering..."

_'Oh, god. Here it comes.'_

"Would you ever desert me? If you knew I was in trouble, or needed you, I mean."

I thought I could wretch. Sho, of course, had no idea that I had done just that when he was but a defenseless child. I turned to him, smiling. "I'll never leave you again, Sho." Thinking I was referring to my disappearance we had been discussing earlier, this answer satisfied him. He beamed at me, motioning for me to join him on the bed. I happily plopped down beside him, curling up into his arms. He wrapped his around my upper ass, making me cough to hide my squeak of surprise. I have my dignity.

He glanced down at me, beaming as I put my arms around his neck, moving so I was straddling his waist. I sat back on his knees, back arching as I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his, returning his smile. He could always melt my worries away. And, fortunately enough, I have the mind numbing ability to distract (code for: 'seduce.') with my animal-like pheromones. (It was something we were 'born' with to make it easier to sate all of our 'needs.') I, however, had recently learned that if Sho was being annoying enough, and I was desperate enough, I could manipulate those useful little pheromones so that at least I would get something out of his constant, (sometimes frustratingly so) companionship.

A wave of desire made my body shake as the kiss became heated. My back arched further, pressing our torsos together. I moaned into Sho's mouth as his hand slipped between us, expertly undoing my pants. Eyes half lidded, I brought my hands to his shoulders, using them to prop myself up, again on my knees and straddling his waist. My pants slipped down ever so slightly, and he grinned as he realized that underneath, there was nothing to seperate him from his prize. I guided Sho's hands up my torso, shivering at the feather light touch. As he traced my muscles with his fingertips, he pushed my shirt up, exposing pale skin.

I would let the boy have his way with me tonight, in any fashion he desired. The only thing that I was sure of was that I couldn't wait to have him inside of me. It was true, though we both were nervous at first, we trusted each other completely. Because of this, we were able to do things, try things, that no one just messing around with a one night partner could do. I had given myself to Sho, entirely, and unlike the few times that I surrendered my body to Luka, to keep us both sane, the pleasure was equal for both of us. My mood darkened, although my participation didn't cease. I truly regretted giving myself up to Luka in such a way...I had to will my body to stop quaking at the power of my memories.

Sho seemed to sense this, and started to pull away to ask what was wrong. Eager to keep contact, I instead locked my legs around his waist, shifting us on the bed so that he was on top of me. "Sh-sho." The breathy tone of my voice seemed to always have a profound effect on him--caught somewhere between a gasp and a moan. He fumbled around in the drawer of the bedside table, eager to take me. I brought his other hand to my lips, kissing the back of it as I entwined our fingers. Sho smiled, and I flicked my tongue out, lightly tracing his knuckle with it. I could see his grin got wider, even though his back was turned to me. He moved to open the jar, but a brief squeeze to his hand made him turn around. He hovered above me, still smiling happily. Sho flashed me a toothy grin as I removed his shirt, throwing it to the ground. The necklace he always wore dangled from his graceful neck.

I choked, realizing with a start that I was looking at him, mouth only centimeters from his neck, and I was able to stifle every bit of bloodlust. He brought his hand to my face, cupping my cheek, and I could tell he knew something was different, and for the better, too. It was true that when I was out and about with Sho, I had always been able to muffle more of the vampire in me than when I was alone, but should we sit together, with no one else around, I couldn't help but be tempted, and in so many ways. Now, however...every bit of the vampire had been silenced, even if only momentarily. I beamed up at him, which made him freeze, choking on the gasp that escaped his lips. I blushed, looking away, embarassed. I couldn't remember the last time I had smiled like that, so I knew he had never seen it. _"Lovely..."_ he whispered, making my cheeks redden further.

"Sh-shut up..." he smiled brightly, pressing a light kiss to my eager lips. He rubbed his hands up my arms, then my shoulders and neck, finally coming to rest on the back of my head. With each new area he explored, the hungrier his kisses became. I opened my mouth, allowing him to explore. I shivered in pleasure as he ran his tongue across the roof of my mouth, hands going to tangle in my hair. "Nn...nn...Sho..." He opened one eye, revealing a sparkle of mirth.

"Yeah, Kei?"

I motioned to his pants, which were still clinging to his waist. He grinned sheepishly, momentarily leaving his place above me to remove them and his--_'Dear god, is that a **THONG?'**_

Sho noticed my staring, his cheeks turning pink. "What?"

I voiced my surprise as he removed the last of his clothing, crawling above me. I impatiently spread my legs for him, wanting us to continue where we had left off. Obviously glad I dropped the subject, he leaned forward, coaxing me into one of the most sensual kisses I have ever experienced. We broke away only long enough for him to remove my pants all the way, before he captured my bottom lip, nipping and sucking at it. He ran his tongue along my canines, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through me. He prepared me quickly, and I gasped as I felt him nudge at my entrance. This sudden movement made his tongue get caught on my fangs, and the tiniest bit of blood escaped the invading muscle, landing on my own tongue. My fervor increased, and he groaned in pleasure, allowing me to dominate. I coaxed his tongue into coming out to play, the light amount of blood smearing between our tongues.

I rested my hand on his hip, pressing it lightly. He got the message, and began to sheath himself inside me. I cried out, grabbing his shoulders as he rooted himself deep inside. "K-kei..." I met his thrust, eager for more. We fell into a steady rhythm, meeting each other thrust for thrust. I moaned as he found that spot in me that sends fire coarsing throughout my body. I drug my fingers down his back, nails leaving little pink-red paths down his shoulders, back, and finally ending just above his ass, which I couldn't help giving a light squeeze to. He grinned against my neck, bucking his hips. I lost my grip, hands slipping lower. He groaned as I traced between his cheeks, pausing at his entrance. He gripped my waist tighter, thrusting even deeper. I threw my head back, eyes snapping open as I arched into him. I panted, glaring up at him playfully. I probed at his completely virgin entrance, grinning wickedly. He gasped as my finger found its way inside. I had planned for this; while his back was turned, I had grabbed the bottle of lube and poured a liberous amount on my hand. He shivered at my cool touch, and I shook as his hot member invaded me further. The farther he plowed into me, the farther my fingers travelled. The dual sensations would send him over the edge soon, I knew. I took his hand, guiding it to my cock. He got the message, wrapping his hand around it, pumping me in time with his thrusts.

_"Aa. . .ah. . ."_ I added another finger as his thrusts became more erratic, knowing he was close to completion. I felt him bury his face in my neck as he came, moaning my name loudly as he released his seed in me. I chuckled, adding a third finger. His head snapped up at this.

"K-kei!!" I grinned, flipping our positions. Spreading his legs, I knelt betweem them. I grabbed the lubricant, coating my still hardened cock as he began to turn all manner of reds. I removed my fingers from him, making him release an unintended whimper. I grinned, placing myself at his inviting entrance. "K-kei!!" I leaned over him, my hands resting on his knees. I smirked seductively, melting away his objections. He closed his mouth, staring into my eyes. I leaned back, smirking, and aligned myself with the virginal pucker of his entrance, slowly pushing myself inside. He cried out, clawing at the sheets above him. I grit my teeth. He was too tense...his body wouldn't let me go any deeper without hurting him. "You have to relax, Sho." he whimpered, though attempted to follow my directions. "Sho, we can't do this if you don't relax." He was doing his best to calm down, I could tell. I leaned forward, initiating a sweet kiss. I tenderly touched him, my right hand roaming his body as my left ran through his hair. He soon relaxed, and I was able to fully sheath myself within him.

"K-kei..." he panted, his moans going straight to my cock. "I-is this what it feels like? F-for you?"

I caught my breath before answering. "No."

He looked confused, and slightly alarmed. "N-no?"

I grinned, nuzzling into his neck, my voice barely above a whisper. "You're bigger." The statement was in English, but he understood it nonetheless. He blushed, shifting on the pillows embarassedly.

"O-oh..." I was now finding it very hard to not just fuck him senseless, as I knew it was his first time doing it like this. "K-kei...?" I glanced down. "How do you put up with this? I mean, time after time...?"

I grinned down at him. "If you're ready, I'll show you."

He nodded carefully, and I slowly withdrew. I reentered, apparently too quickly, because tears were starting to peek out the corner of his eyes. I buried my face in his neck, kissing it lightly in apology. I thrust in again, this time more slowly, letting him feel as I slid in and out of him. The friction created against his inner wall was making him moan like a whore. I grinned, rolling my hips to fray him further. "Aa..._ah!"_ I gradually picked up the pace; I had to find that spot in him that would make him see stars before I came. I took his member in my hands, relishing the sounds emanating from my beautiful lover beneath me. A few seconds later, I found it. His back arched off the bed, spasms racking his frame. "Gods, K-kei!" he clung to my back as I continued to hit that place in him. All unsurities flew out the window then. "H-harder!"

I granted his wish, hitting the spot dead-on with even more force. "H-harder! _F-faster!!"_ I did so, gladly. As he opened his mouth to ask for more, I let go of my restraints. I pounded into him mercilessly, making him scream out in pleasure. We were getting so close--I took his legs, hooking them around me. He clung tightly to my body, unwilling to let the pleasure cease. I pumped him faster, taking his unguarded nipple into my mouth, continuing to thrust into him. He came, his inner walls clenching around me. I managed a few more thrusts before I followed. Nearly collapsing on top of him, I struggled to get my breathing to return to normal. "K-kei..." I started to pull out, but he stopped me. "N-not j-just yet." I looked up at him, brushing his bangs from his eyes. He closed his eyes, pulling me close. A minute or so later, I removed my flaccid cock from his exhausted body.

"Why did you want me to...?" He smiled, which soon turned into a smirk.

"I wanted to remember the feeling of having you in me...because it's never happening again."

I arched an eyebrow at this. "Oh, really?"

He grinned. "Well, it's not like I didn't enjoy it..."

I trailed my finger through the cum on his stomach, bringing it to my lips and licking it away. "I should say so."

Sho's blush returned immediately, full-force. "B-but, I-I'm the one who's supposed to top, so th-this was just a one time thing..."

Hovering above him, I looked him dead in the eye as I began to lick the cum from his stomach. "Is that so?"

He nodded, tangling his fingers in my hair. "Y-yes..." He gasped as I ran my tongue over his sac. "K-kei!"

I hooked his legs over my shoulders, my tongue caressing him as it made its way down to Sho's opening. "Mm?" My eyes slid from his to his pink entrance. I ran my tongue over it, tasting the remnants of my essence there.

"Ahn...wh-what are you...?" My tongue gently pushed inside, running up and down the walls of muscle there. Glancing up, I saw he was again getting hard. Flicking it in and out, I listened to his growing moans and impatience, savouring the lusty haze again covering us. I pulled back, removing my tongue. He half glared at me. "D-don't...stop. . ." I grinned, glancing down at the quivering bud. Evilly, I drug my tongue over his asshole, up his thigh, skipped over his cock, and up his stomach. He shook with need as I instead moved to attack his nipple, teasing it until it was just a nub. "K-kei..."

My next target was his ear. Grabbing his hands, I pinned them above his head so he couldn't relieve himself. Continuing my assault on his ear, I whispered huskily "Aa...but I'm never allowed to top again, am I...?" I pulled back, moving to get off the bed before he grabbed my hand, pulling me back on top of him.

"Where the hell are you going? Get back here and finish what you started!"

A smirk, then "Aa, but you're the one who's always supposed to top, _remember?"_ Sho growled, tackling me onto the bed. Raising himself above me, he slowly brought himself down on my hardened cock. We moaned simultaneously, and he smirked down at me.

"S-see? I'm still on t-top..." I chuckled, thrusting up into him.

"You just can't resist me, can you?"

He rose himself up, slamming back down. "W-whatever..." I grabbed his hips, lifting him up, then turning him so he was in my lap, facing away from me. Smirking against his neck, I began to torture him again, arm wrapping around to touch him, the other moving up to pinch and rub his already abused nipples. _"Mn...ah..."_

I chuckled to myself. _'So much for letting him have his way with me...'_ The man in my lap writhed, the new sensations both confusing and exciting him. "K-kei..." I knew he'd reach completion soon, having already succumbed twice tonight. He got louder the more rapid my thrusts got, and soon he was screaming incoherent praises above me. He threw his head back, the back of his head coming to rest on my shoulder as we came simultaneously. I slowly lifted him off, setting him beside me. We fell back on the bed together, our hearts beating in time to each other's. I reluctantly got up, getting a damp towel to wipe away the evidence of our lovemaking. I grabbed a new sheet, balling up the old one and tossing it over my shoulder and into the hamper. Sho grinned, applauding my mad skillz.

Crawling across the bed, I threw the sheets on, pulling him close. Suddenly feeling very possesive, I leaned down, biting his neck, (fangs retracted, of course) He gasped, instantly awake again. I ran my tongue along it, then lightly sucked, leaving my mark. I was about to bite my tongue, letting my blood heal him, but Sho stopped me. "L-leave it. I want to have proof that _I am yours."_ I nodded, pressing my lips to his as we fell into the welcoming arms of Morpheus.

* * *

* * *

That morning, before Sho awoke, I took the lyric book from the Gackt CD, and tore the 'Special Thanks' page out, hiding it in my room until I could dispose of it. Just after I placed it in a box under my bed, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my still-naked body, pulling me against a warm chest. "Ahn...you're able to walk still. I'm impressed." Sho squeezed me, which only served to make me laugh. Brown-blonde hair tickled my neck as he kissed from my ear to my collar bone and back. "Mn..." I melted into his touch. Last night had been amazing, to be sure, but I can't deny the fact that I love feeling Sho dominate me more. I leaned back, letting my head fall against his chest. He kissed down the column of my neck as we both sighed contentedly. Turning around in his arms, I pressed my lips to his.

"Kei..." I smiled, opening my eyes, our lips still touching slightly.

"Mm?"

Sho smiled, pressing our lips together again. "I love you."

I chuckled, resting my forehead on his chest, breath ghosting over Sho's nipple. I pulled back, brushing my hair behind my ear. Just then, as I opened my mouth to reply, the phone rang. I groaned, disappointed that our brief bit of alone time was to be stolen away from us. I headed to the door, but something stopped me. I had an odd, heavy feeling in my chest. Turning around, I was just in time to see my lovely, loving lover kneel down, hands sliding under the bed in search of something. He pulled out the lyric book, not noticing my frightened expression. I ran forward, trying to grab it, but he held it out of my reach. He moaned as I tackled him onto the bed, that sex-obsessed crybaby, and pulled me into a tight embrace. For a moment, I let his ravenous kisses consume me, our tongues sliding against one another's. I cupped his cheeks, angling so I could have better access. Straddling him, I pressed our bodies closer, wrapping my arms around his neck. Soon breaking away, I moved to ravish his neck. When I didn't hear the normal gratified moan, I glance up and found he was silently crying, staring at something behind me. "Sho...?"

I sat up on his lap, my hand lifting his chin so he was looking me in the eye. His gaze held so many emotions; pain, betrayal, sorrow, anger...I couldn't understand his sudden change from happy and horny to dark and depressed. I heard the slight rustle of paper before he shoved me off his lap and onto the bed. Tossing the paper on my chest, he left without a word. I stared after him, my eyes lingering where he had been. Eventually, I looked to the paper. The lyric book. I closed my eyes, rubbing my hands over my face in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. For once, it didn't work.

I, as cliche as it sounds, kept praying that it was just a dream, that my greatest nightmare had not just come true. Sho had obviously seen the dedication to him, and as much as we may joke about it, the guy really does have a brain in that beautiful head of his. He had obviously seen my reaction to the damn booklet, and had pieced things together. Sitting up on the bed, I let my arms support me. If I ignored the problem at hand and waited for him to cool off, I knew he wouldn't want to talk about it or listen to my reasons. Ever.

I clambered off the bed, crossing the hallway to Sho's room. Climbing onto his bed, I pulled his sobbing form into my arms, holding him close and stroking his hair. He broke from my hold a while later, begging to know the reasons and the truth. I sighed, shifting us so I was leaning against the head board, his head againt my still bare chest. He looped his arms around my waist, revelling in our closeness. I could tell he was still pissed and confused as hell, temperament still highly volatile. I asked him why he still held me so close. "You're the only one who can soothe my worries...Even if it's you that I'm mad at, you're the only one whose closeness can numb away that pain."

Feeling my eyes starting to well up with tears, I pressed kisses to the top of his head, squeezing him lightly. I pondered my next words, not wanting to send him over the edge. Unsure of what his reaction would be, I whispered "I love you..."

To my surprise, he looked up, smiling lightly through his tears. "I know."

The amount of love in those words shook me to the core, and my tears fell. Now he was the one pulling me close, comforting me and wiping away my tears. Muttering "I'm sorry. I love you." like a mantra, I buried my face in his chest.

"Kei, Kei...it's alright, I love you, Kei..." was Sho's mantra, these words slowly calming me from my near-hysteria. Still sobbing, I glared at him when he chuckled.

"What?"

He snorted. "It's just ironic. You came in here to comfort me, and now you're the one crying." I blinked. That's right...I came in here, because--Sho seemed to remember at the exact same time that I did. "Kei, was I--"

"Gackt's son?" he nodded. I decided it was best to tell him the truth. "Yes, Sho." He brought up the subject of his mother, and (not knowing what else to tell him) I said "Hyde."

"...Hyde? Like, sexy rockstar vocalist Hyde?"

I glared at him, slightly jealous he found someone other than myself appealing.

Noticing my pout, he pulled me closer. "What?"

I sighed. "Just a bit...jealous, I guess."

He grinned. "Why? 'Cuz I think someone other than you is sexy?"

I glared up at him, my hand moving to his chest. I spread my fingers out, watching them as I traced down his chest. "So what if I am?"

He cracked up, damn near guffawing at the thought. Amidst the laughter, I heard "K-ke-e-e-i! Y-y-y-you could be twi-i-i-ins! Ha ah hahaha!!" I slipped out from underneath him, walking to the door. "K-kei...?" I turned around to find him still rolling around on the bed a bit, tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. "I-I, I o-only h-have eyes f-for you, K-keich-chan..."

I sighed, sauntering back to the bed. His eyes locked on the sway of my hips, unashamedly locking on my naked form. I crawled above him on the bed, it creaking under our combined weights. His eyes roamed my body hungrily, his hands going to my sides to support me. I let him kiss me as I pushed him back on the bed, straddling him. Sho's kiss was different than before; now it was slow, tantalizing...and damn it, I couldn't get enough. I would try to quicken our pace, feel more of him and faster, and he would slow down, letting his mouth slip closed. Giving in, I slowed my pace, calming myself. Gratified, he picked up the pace, gradually giving me more and more. Eager, I had already begun preparing myself. "K-kei..."

I paused, pulling away to look at him. I continued to stretch myself, unwilling to stop the pleasure. He closed his eyes, sighing. "I...I don't want this." I immediately stopped, freezing above him.

"Wh-what?"

He reluctantly turned his gaze to me. "I don't want us to solve our problems with sex." I tried to protest, but he cut me off. "I don't want us to only have a physical relationship."

I nodded dumbly. "I understand."

"I, I just want us to be able to show we love each other in a way other than this."

I withdrew, sitting back on his hips. "I understand." I repeated.

Thinking I was disappointed -which I kind of was-, he sat up too, pulling me into a warm embrace. "Kei, I--"

I cut him off. "I said, I understand, Sho. So, what do you say we go out on a date?"

"I--what? Really?" I nodded.

"Uh-huh."

He grinned, ecstatic. "Kei-chan!" he flipped us so I was completely on the bed beneath him. "You mean it?!" I nodded dumbly again. Sho started to attack my neck, making me moan as he reawakened my member. He kissed down my chest to my belly, his speed near frantic. I moaned wantonly, hooking my legs around his waist. I couldn't help but grin as I felt that Sho was now hard as well, hips bucking against mine. I grabbed for the lube, thrusting it into his hands. He immediately slicked himself, throwing the bottle over his shoulder. "Thank you, Kei. I love you. So much."

I moaned in response, guiding him to my entrance. He chuckled, pushing his way inside. _"...nnnngh...!! A-ah! Ahn!"_ I clutched his shoulders, my back arching off the bed. "Nn..._nn..._I l-love--_aah!!"_ He started slamming into me, sending fire shooting up my spine. I lost my words, reduced to animalistic growls and moans. We were in absolute bliss, moving fluidly as if we were one. I begged for release as he sensually licked at my neck.

"Kei. I love you." Sho pleasured me faster, inching us both closer to coming.

_"Nn!! I love you -ah- too!"_ I screamed as he hit my prostate, arching upward so I was almost completely off the bed as I came. Almost right after, he followed, collapsing on top of me.

_"Ah...K-kei..."_ Trying to catch my breath, I wiped the sweat from my eyes with the back of my hand. I tossed my head to the side, shifting so our eyes met. Sho slowly pulled out of me, tangling our legs as he pulled me close. He closed his eyes, smiling warmly. "Mm, and you say _I'm_ the sex fiend?" I must have looked really confused, because he started to explain. "You say I'm sex-obsessed all the time..." I stared up at him, still not getting it. "...but you start things almost as often as I do, and you've never _once_ turned me away--"

"I haven't had a partner in almost two decades!" His eyes widened. I continued, "I plan to use this oppurtunity and take advantage of it while I..." Sho tore away from my embrace, climbing off the bed. Confused, I watched as he hurriedly threw a pair of leather pants and a tight shirt on. It wasn't until he grabbed his trenchcoat that I realized just what was going on. "Sho, I--"

He snapped as I reached for his arm. "Is that all I'm good for to you? I'm just an easy fuck?!"

"Sh-sho, I--" Again, he cut me off.

"You don't care about me. You never have, have you? You've just been taking advantage of me! You just said so yourself!" He threw the door open, storming down the hallway.

"Sho! That's not true! Sho!!"

He turned around, seizing me in a painful grip. "How do I know you're not lying? After all, you lied to me about my parents! What would stop you from lying about this?!"

I was in tears now, desperate to get him to listen. "Because I love you, Sho!" He gripped my arm so tightly, I felt as if I was about to break. "Sh-sho! Y-you're hurting me!"

His voice lowered to where it was just above a whisper. I immediately wished the screaming Sho was back--him, I could deal with. Him, I could calm down enough to at least get him to listen. But when he got like this... "Huh. It's only fair I hurt you back, isn't it? I bet you only suggested we date so you could keep me ready and willing..."

I struggled to break free, tears streaming down my face. "I swear, Sho. I swear to God, I'm not using you--"

Sho smiled bitterly. "Aren't you? When was the last time you did anything, even said you loved me, outside of when you think I'm about to leave you, or in the middle and aftermath of sex?!" I tried to think of a time, tried to prove him wrong, but I couldn't. Had I really never said it just to let him know that I care? I couldn't believe it. He took my silence as recognition of my guilt. Sighing, he released me, turning away. "I have to go."

My head instantly snapped up. "What? What do you mean?"

He shrugged on his trench coat, adjusting the collar. "Just that. I'm leaving and I don't know when or if I'll be back."

My heart stopped. Sho was my everything! What would I do without him? I had to tell him, before I lost him forever. "Where will you go?" Damn it! _Not_ what I wanted to say! _'You've got to fix this, Kei! Stupid, stupid!'_

"Toshi's, Shinji's, maybe Son's...I don't kow. Regardless, it's no longer any of your business."

Our world was all falling apart, and it was all my fault. Why do I have to be so fucking masochistic all the time?! "Sho...wait..." He stopped, halfway out the door. Maybe there was still hope? "Don't go...please...don't go..."

He turned, uncaring. "I no longer have a reason to stay."

And with that, the door clicked shut. I could have screamed; I'm not sure that I didn't. I can't remember. All I know is that when that door clicked shut, my whole world was again cloaked in darkness.

* * *

Lyrics used were from Mizerable by Gackt...love that song...I edited it to fit, though...

Only...two...reviews...-insert brooding here- I seriously considered waiting until I had more reviews to post, but I am just way too nice to you guys...

(a/n) ...I swore I was going to not write any more smut into this chapter after the third time...it almost ended up being like, six... o.O What is happening to my brain??? Sho is so freaking hormonal...but he has to be, to advance the plot. XD


	9. Gackt's Lover, Officially Revealed!

(a/n) So, I decided I would be eeeevil, and add...-dramtic background music- A FILLER!! BUAHAHAHAHA!!! It's GakuHai, though, so no tears! :D ...you guys actually weren't supposed to get an update for at least a month longer, due to stitches in my hand, and not being supposed to type...Screw doctor's orders...but don't expect any updates outside of this for awhile. I don't need Cashite-sama drop kicking me. :P ...as if she'd dare... XD

L.: Thank you for the review! Sorry, you have to wait for the plot a bit longer. 'Tis filler time! Thanks for taking the time to review, even though ya don't have an account!! -gives you cookie-

Jaded. BEST. REVIEW. EVER. XDDD You too, Mrs.T! Thanks!! :D

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Hyde walked into the deserted recording studio to find his lover sitting on an amp, shaking his acoustic guitar upside down. "Argh, _dammit!"_

Relatively unfazed by Gackt's weird antics, he plopped down beside him on the couch. "What is it?"

"I dropped my damn pick inside!" The younger man was incredibly flustered, and quite pissed, as he had obviously been at it for a while.

Hyde grinned, fighting very hard not to laugh. He placed his hand on the taller brunette's shoulder, chuckling. "And we've been playing for _how long?"_

_"Oh, just shut up and help me, will you?"_ Gackt snapped, glaring at him.

Hyde sighed. Gackt was in one of his 'moods' again. And not the one that kept them up all night. Damn it. "Alright, alright...hand it over."

Gackt muttered "Here," as he handed the guitar to the smaller man.

"Gacchan, this doesn't sound much like a pick..." Hyde murmered as he shook the guitar.

"Yeah, yeah, just get it out," Gackt demanded as he relocated himself to the floor. He glanced up to see Hyde glaring down at him. "Please."

The older man smacked the back of his lover's head. "Well, since you asked so nicely."

**Shake shake shake.**

Gackt sighed. "Come on! You can do better than _that!"_

Hyde scowled. "Shut up."

Gackt sat up on his knees, cheering his tiny lover on. "You've gotta **_be_** it! _Defeat _it!"

"Shut up, Gacchan." Hyde growled, growing more and more exasperated.

Gackt grinned, grabbing the guitar and holding it between them. "Come on, shake it like you want it!"

Hyde stared at him. "...no comment."

**Plop.**

"...what's that?" Hyde watched as his lover stooped down to pick a tiny object up.

"Huh? Oh, it's just my wedding ring." he answered, nonchalantly.

Hyde gave him a vicious deathglare. "I thought we agreed we wouldn't wear our old rings."

"Hm? Oh, we did..."

Hyde's voice started to rise. "Then why do you have it??"

Gackt shrugged. "Well, you have one too..."

"But I don't wear it!!" Hyde shouted angrily.

Gackt looked up at him, slightly hurt. "You won't wear it?"

"No!" Hyde snapped.

Gackt put his hands on Hyde's knees. "Not even if I asked you to?"

"No!"

Gackt smiled hopefully up at him. "Even if I do it _reeeally_ nicely?"

"No, Gacchan! **NO!"** Hyde threw his hands up in the air.

Gackt sat on the balls of his feet, arms on his own knees. "So...you're saying..." He brought his hands to his lips, tracing them thoughtfully. "That if I was to get down on one knee, and ask you to marry me, you wouldn't wear the ring?"

"N--what?" Hyde stared down at him.

Gackt held up the shiny platinum ring, grinning. "What, you thought this was my old wedding ring?"

Hyde stared at him, dumbfounded. "...what else would it be? It certainly isn't my old one."

Gackt's grin grew. "Ah, but it's your _new_ one."

"Wha--oh, god." Hyde's eyes widened.

Gackt moved so he was down on one knee in front of the small brunette. "Haido-chan..."

Hyde covered his mouth. "Oh, god."

Gackt held up the ring, showing it to Hyde as it glinted in the light. "I'm asking you,"

"Oh, my, god."

Gackt's grin broadened. "begging you,"

"Oh. My. God." Hyde looked as if he was going to scream.

"_Pleading_ with you," Gackt waved the ring in front of Hyde's face.

"Get to the damn point!" Hyde shouted, thrusting his left hand into Gackt's outstretched one.

"Will you be mine? Forever, my little lover?"

Hyde struggled to fight off a few manly tears. "Oh, god."

Gackt continued with his rant. "Will you stick by me through the good and bad, put up with my selfishness, and let me hang all over you regardless of where we are for as long as I please in front of whomever I want, for all of eternity?"

Hyde threw his arms around his lov--fiance, burying his face in his neck. "Oh, gawd, yes!"

"Ah, so you _will_ wear it then?" Gackt smiled, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, so shuttup!" Hyde grinned, pressing his lips to Gackt's over and over again.

"But, I--" his words were lost as they transformed into a moan. Hyde straddled the younger man, hands tangling in his hair as he deepened the kiss more and more. Gackt had to fight to keep from laughing as the smaller man went into a frenzy, stripping them while he moved his attack to Gackt's neck. He busied himself with pleasuring Gackt, licking and suckling his neck in an incredibly hot, yet loving fashion. "H-haido. Haaaiiido." The smaller brunette glanced up at him, pausing on the trail he was making from Gackt's ear to his belly button. "The recording equipment is still on."

"...what?"

Gackt nodded. "Still on."

"...call it a bonus song, then." Hyde shrugged, returning to his ravishing of Gackt.

-

* * *

^^ The end! ...I think...?


	10. Chapter 10

WARNING: ...hell, unless otherwise stated, assume swearing and mansex. Oh, and a masochistic Kei. D:

(a/n) I cannot **begin** to describe how much I _hate_, no, _DESPISE_ this chapter. DX **IT FAILS. **T.T

* * *

* * *

When I awoke, I found myself in a heap on the floor, curled up against the cold. I lay there for what felt like hours, until eventually, my numb mind signaled me to find some warmth. I stumbled over to the couch, throwing our comforter over me. God knows I needed all the comfort I could get, now. I pulled it tightly around me. Aah...it still smelled like Sho. I would've cried, but my tears had dried up. To cry now would be wrong. I had brought this on myself, and any tears shed now would be those of self pity. Wrapping it tightly around me, I decided I would ignore the pain of my broken feelings for now, which only left one thing for me to focus on--the effects of having lost my mate. As ashamed as I was of it, my body still demanded relief of the near constant state of arousal Sho kept me in. The only way to do this now was...no. I don't deserve relief. I don't deserve pleasure. And yet, my hand had already undone both the button and the zipper on my pants, and had found its way to my cock. "Aaa_...i-iie...." _I scraped my nails along my length, hissing as I punished myself. This rough treatement only made it worse, however, as when the pain began to recede, it left my cock throbbing, itching for more. My left hand continued to service me, while my right scratched all along my thighs, leaving short, bleeding marks along the once white skin. As I got closer and closer to cumming, I moved my left hand to my leg, and dug my nails in from just above my knees to the crease between my legs and hips. I moaned, seeing stars as I threw myself over the edge. Sitting up, I swung my legs over the side of the couch, stumbling to the shower. When I again came back to reality, I realized that I was watching my blood washing down the drain.

I kept waiting for Sho to burst in, pretending he had to go, and then joining me in the shower, but he never did. I felt empty...the emptiness is argueably the worst part, as you feel nothing, and you know you should...you know you will, and the fact that you don't frightens you. The fact that you know you're on the brink of having a breakdown will drive you insane. I was interrupted from my brooding thoughts by the shrill ring of my cell phone. Thinking it was Sho, I ran from the shower and grabbed it off the counter.

_"What the fuck did you do to Sho?!"_

Son.

"If it was any of your damn business, he would have told you his fucking self." Great. Lashing out at one of the few friends I have in this world.

He stopped, shocked that I, the quiet Kei, had just verbally attacked him. _"K-kei..."_

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Son. I didn't mean to be so rude." Son murmered something intelligible to someone on the other end of the call.

_"It's okay," _he started after a while. _"I guess whatever it was, it really hurt you too, huh?" _I nodded, covering my eyes in shame, although he couldn't see it. _"'Like hell it did.'"_ Sho. _"'Now hang up the damn phone, and get yer ass back in the damn bed.'"_ I choked on a sob. So he had gone to Son. I turned the phone off, ignoring Son's calls to stop, that it wasn't like _thatg_ He immediately called back. I set it on the table, watching it through my tears. Pulling my knees up to my chin, I rocked back and forth on the couch I had wandered over to. I sighed gratefully as the ringing finally stopped. Almost instantly, Son called again. This happened seven more times, before it cut off mid-ring. I guess Sho had grabbed the phone.

_'So he does hate me._' Well, he had every reason to. It's understandable. Anyone would hate me if they were in his position. Although, if our roles were reversed, I wouldn't let this come between us. I love him too much.

* * *

Hours later, my phone rand again. I looked at the caller ID. Someone was calling from Sho's phone. Taking a chance, I held it to my ear, answering. A deep voice darkened with stifled pain barked, "_We still have a job tonight. If you don't feel like betraying me again,"_ a bitter pause, _"be there_." And the line went dead. Oh, I could do him one better. I walked to my room, grabbed some fresh clothes from my closet, and clothed myself. When I was dressed, I took the house keys, running to the closest car and hotwiring it. I moaned, gasping and panting through the pain of my burning flesh. Backing out, I high-tailed it to Son's. I sprinted up the stairs, banging into Son's door in my rush. It opened to reveal a shocked Sho. For a moment, his concern for me overwhelmed his rightful rage. My knees buckled, and Sho, god, Sho, he caught me before I could crash to the ground. He yanked me inside, grabbing a blanket to pat out the flames with, before he gently set me on the couch. I fought to catch my breath as I began to heal. Son ran in, the smell of burning flesh assaulting his nose. He hurried to the kitchen, wetting a rag to cool my heated flesh. Softly, I cried. Sho was touching me, cradling me so tenderly, and here I couldn't have him. I couldn't love him. I couldn't kiss him. I cried harder, letting myself be swallowed by my physical and emotional pain.

* * *

When I woke again, Sho was sitting in a chair, pulled up close to the sofa I was on. My head lay in his lap, and...I can't believe it. He was petting my hair, lovingly. I kept my eyes closed so he wouldn't stop. His hands paused, and I prayed he didn't see that I had awoken. Instead, he snuck a kiss to my forehead. I shifted, as if asleep. "How could you do that to me?" My heart was burning. "You, of all people, the only one I truly trusted--" Even now, I was decieving him into thinking that I was asleep.

"...sho?" He gasped as I sat up. Turning to him, I kissed him softly, wrapping my arms around his neck. Letting my lips linger on his, I tried to silently explain everything. When his lips were working against mine for the first time in weeks, I felt the pain, frustration, agony, depression...all of it disspelled. I moaned, squeezing him softly, needing to feel more of his warmth. I don't quite understand it, but I could feel him slowly forgiving me. "Aa-ahn..." I began to pant heavily as his hand slipped under my shirt, ghosting over my new, sensitive skin.

"Ehem." We jumped apart, Sho accidently ripping my shirt off as he fell. An awkward silence, where Son's eyes went back and forth between us, the reconciling couple. "Oh, don't stop on my behalf. Please, continue."

...Sho's strong point has never been detecting sarcasm. This was glaringly apparent as he immediately jumped back into my lap, straddling me. Son's eyes doubled in size as Sho grabbed my face, pulling me in for the best kiss of my life. "Mn...kaa..." My better judgement said we should stop before Son kicked us out into the sunlight, but_ aaah..._

"K-kei! Sho!!" We turned to glance at him, Sho licking away a trail of saliva on my chin. Son looked utterly disgusted by our vulgar behavior, and I was relatively surprised he didn't start throwing stuff at Sho before his hand had started slipping into my pants. Such tolerance. "Enough! Enough!!"

Sho pouted, "B-but you said!"

Son covered his face with his hands, embarassed on our behalf. "I know what I said! I don't care!"

Sho unzipped my pants, leaning down and wrapping his soft pink lips around my cock--Son's shoe connected with Sho's head. "What. The. _Hell?!!" _Sho yelled at his friend. "You just said you didn't care!"

Son laughed incredulously. "Yeah! About what I said before! I meant it when I said there is to be no sex in this house!"

Sho grinned, licking up the vein on the underside of my length..."Ah, that explains why you're always so crabby. Tell me, when was the last time you got laid, Son?" And into the sun we went.

Sho threw his jacket over me as I hid in the shadows, readjusting my pants. We sprinted to the car I stole, speeding toward home. The sun was fortuantely about to set, but still, it hurt like hell...Sho, apparently, decided he would distract me from the heat pooling in my lower half. Now, Sho has always been an unsafe driver. Always. I never realized just how bad he was until now, when his hand was slipping down the front of my pants. _While he **drove**. "H-hhaaah..."_ He was grinning, eyes, surprisingly, on the road as he freed my cock from its cloth restraints. Sho rubbed his thumb across the tip, smearing the precum there. "Sh-sho..." I pulled my pants to my knees as he moved his hand up and down my length. I was in bliss as my lover touched me. It had only been three weeks since our fight, and the last time he and I had had sex, but..."Ahhh...nn..." He pulled behind a building, parking in the shadows. Needy, I came in his hands quickly. He glanced over, watching as it softened, then rehardened in his hands. He glanced down my legs and found the angry vertical scars there.

"Kei?" He crawled above me, looking me deep in the eyes. I clutched my head in my hands, hiding my face.

"Punishment."

Sho furrowed his brows. "Kei? My love?"

I wiped away the only tear that escaped my eye. "I was punishing myself for hurting you." He paused, my face in his hands.

"Oh, Kei..."

I pulled him close, nuzzling into his chest. Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply, his scent filling my nostrils. "Aa...yes...you were right...I deserve to be in pain..."

Sho sighed, shaking his head between his kisses pressing down on my neck comfortingly. "No, Keichan, no...you don't, I promise, you don't..." I moaned softly as he felt up and down my body.

"Aa-aa...Sh-sho...then...you f-forgive me?"

"I...I..." He paused above me.

I stopped his hands. "You haven't forgiven me?" He looked away. Staring up at him incredulously, I repeated, "You...haven't...forgiven me." I paused, waiting for an answer. He gave none. "And here you sit on top of me, about to _have sex_ with me...and, and!!" I started to push him off, but he pinned me to the seat, holding my arms above me.

"Kei. Kei!" He touched my face tenderly, trying to placate me. "I still love you, Kei."

I thrashed around, trying to break his hold on me. He kissed my forehead, my cheeks...his lips ghosted over my eyelids, then my nose and chin and lips. I had to fight the urge to kiss him back as his lips lingered on mine. "And I still love you, too. But there is no fucking way I'm letting you use me like _he _did!"

He stopped, releasing my hands. "Like...who did? What do you mean he 'used you?' Kei?"

I slipped from beneath him, moving into the driver's seat and pulling out on to the street. "Luka. And it's just like it sounds. He used me and my body."

Sho flipped, and started shouting obscenities. I ignored his rants, letting him cool off as I turned the corner. "Kei!" I glanced in his direction, not really paying attention. "Pull over!" I did so, the sun now just about down. "Park." Again, I followed his directions. As soon as I did so, he pulled me into a hot kiss. I didn't resist this time, as my erection had started to hurt. Sho slid down so that his face was right beside my belly. He kissed my stomach gently, his hands on my hips.

"Sh-sho..." He unzipped my pants once more, pulling out my erection. I moaned loudly as he played with it in his hands, the toes of my bare feet curling and uncurling.

"I will _never_ use you, Kei." My love proclaimed, pumping my shaft. His eyes followed the motion, breath ghosting over my cock. My hands tangled in his hair.

"N-nor I y-you...." He paused, before licking along the vein running from base to tip. I shuddered, crying out.

"I just want to forget about it." I nodded, panting hard as his tongue caressed my cock lovingly.

"Kei..." I thrust into his mouth, craving his heat more than anything.

"P-please, Sho-chan..." My jaw dropped as I saw what he did next. He was preparing himself. "Sho!" He smiled up at me, kissing the tip of my length. He slowly wet it with his tongue, slicking it teasingly. Oh, god, he wanted me to take him.

"Mn..._hah..."_ I touched him tenderly as he climbed above me. We exchanged happy glances before he lowered himself down on my hardened length. I moaned loudly as he did this; I still wanted to be dominated, but fuck, it felt so good...I started to thrust up into him, but he stilled my hips.

"Sh..._shou?" _He laughed at how thick my accent could get when we have sex. He proclaimed that I would have no control this time, so that he could be sure he wasn't being used.

"But I do love you, my dear." I just have to regain his trust? That's fine. If I was willing to literally walk through fire and burn in flames for him, I can do what he wants until he trusts me again.

He rode me slowly, more for his own pleasure than mine. I leaned back into the seat, listening to his arousing cries. "Ah..._fuck, Kei_..." he continued to ride me, panting. "I never...realized...how much...work...this...is..." I smiled up at him.

"Ah, then would you like some help, after all?" He nodded his head sheepishly as I lifted up the middle partition and laid him beneath me on the seat. Hm, the exact opposite of my little car fantasy of he and I. I kissed him softly, pushing my tongue into the warm cavern of his mouth. I traced over every inch of it, rubbing my tongue against his. I ran it against the roof of his mouth as I began to fuck him, pushing in and out. My body slowly began to recognize the one with me, and soon enough, I was pounding away against his prostate.

"Ah! _Ahh!!" _Too soon we came, but just as quickly, we wanted each other again. I pulled out, and as soon as he was hard too, I flipped us and made him take me dry. He tried to refuse, but I couldn't wait anymore. I had even begun preparing myself as we did it the first time. I needed him. More than anything.

"_Mn! Sh-sho!!" _I let him move before I even gave myself time to adjust. He had missed this part of our relationship, too, I could tell..

"F-fuck..." He pumped me quickly to try to distract me from the pain burning deep inside me, as well as the blood that was slowly dripping out. "Ah...ah...I, I don't like this, Kei..." This wasn't entirely true, I could tell. It must have been amazing for him, taking me and feeling me so tight around him. I'm sure that a small part of him also felt like he was getting revenge. "H-hurting you...I, I don't like it..."

I pushed against him, almost breathing a sigh of relief when he found my prostate. "L-love...you..." He thrust quickly, rocking the car as we made love. "Ah_-ah...!" _We came simultaneously, with a scream of one another's name. He pulled out quickly, gently wiping away the blood and semen dripping between my thighs.

"Oh, Kami, Kei...I'm so, I'm so sorry..." I shrugged it off, slipping into the backseat so I could rest. After cleaning off the seats as best he could, he hurriedly drove us home.

* * *

Sho glanced at the clock beside their bed, sighing. They only had an hour or two before they had to get to their job, and it seemed Kei was still too weak from god knows what to be of any use. He could always go on his own, or with Son, but he just didn't want to leave his lover yet. He snuggled close and let himself push away the past, Kei in his arms.

-

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(a/n) HOLY CRAP, THIS IS THE FIRST ONE OF MY FICS TO _EVER_ GET TO CHAPTER TEN!!! ...this series is almost over, actually...not sure if I'm happy or sad about that, yet. I may make a sequel. Not sure yet...if I do, it'll probably be filled with mansex. XD Hm...to dedicate such a momentous occasion...first reviewer** (FOR THIS CHAPTER)** can request a scene...lemon-smut and/or Sprite (apparently, people have begun adopting my made up phrase XD), hilarity, GakuHai, YouCha, a random appearance by yourself...whatever it may be...just hit that little review button. AND BE _**SPECIFIC**_. ^.^ Oh, and Jaded, yer b-day smut is on the way. xD


	11. Chapter 11

Warning: MANSEX! :DDD The muse, he cums back! Hahaha, I made a funny... xD

(a/n) I cannot BEGIN to describe how much trouble this stupid damn chapter gave me! DDDDx I know I promised the first reviewer can request something for this chapter...however...due to the nature of that request... *headdesks as she curses a certain someone...butnotreally :D* that's gonna be posted as a one-shot companion piece. xD I figured I had to put the plot in here somehow, and the climax (plot climax, not Kei's or Sho's xD) wouldn't be taken seriously had I kept that in there... xDDD YOU HEARD RIGHT! THIS CHAPTER HAS PLOT!one? and it gave me SO MUCH hell! Thank you to Satchi Claus for giving me advice on the format...even if you didn't realize you were doing so. xD

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The emotional strain both had been dealing with for weeks caught up with them the moment that they laid down. They slept for almost three days' time, the only times they woke up being to relieve their bladders, or, in Sho's case, eat. On the fourth or fifth night, Sho realized why Kei was still sleeping like a log; he hadn't fed. Damn it, he REFUSED to nag, because they were BOTH sick of it. He gently roused his love, instead promising him that if he fed, he would set up a special, sex-filled evening for them. Before he could protest how much it disturbed him to feed and then come home and make love like nothing had happened, Sho had shoved him out the door, already planning their perfect first date.

Kei fed mindlessly, still inwardly brooding. When he came home, Sho kicked him out of the living room, intent on keeping his scheme a secret. Having nothing better to do, Kei fell back on Sho's bed, slipping into slumber. Sho, oblivious to his lover's weariness, continued to plot and plan through the night.

When he finally returned to his bedroom, finding Kei asleep amongst piles of pillows and blankets on his bed, he couldn't help but wonder when they would decide to actually share their room. He leaned over the smaller man, kissing his forehead. "I love you, Kei." As an afterthought, he added, "But I will never forget what you have done."

He crawled above him, getting on his side of the bed. The larger brunette missed the tears glistening down Kei's cheeks in the moonlight. "I know, I know, I know..."

* * *

Son grinned maliciously as he waited for the pair to arrive. He had been waiting for this moment for years now--today was the day he would make the big reveal.

He was absolutely sick of the blonde. He hated him, with a burning passion. He didn't deserve Sho, he didn't care for him! Hell, he abandoned them! Oh, that's right, he knew all about it. Absolutely everything.

Everyone had thought that he was too young to remember. Oh, no. He remembered everything about their fathers--Gackt and Hyde. He knew who they were, he always had, right down to the little promise Kei had prayed no one knew about. Son did. He never forgot.

His life had been hell, ever since his parents had died. After You and Chachamaru had passed away, things had only gotten worse. He and Sho were split up into different foster homes, with Sho all the way in Mallepa with Shinji's family, and him in Osaka. He had always pretended that he cared as much for Yi-Che as he had Sho--no one could take his place, no matter how much he convinced himself otherwise. Sho was his brother, his only family he had left! When he heard the news of his foster family's death and had thought Sho gone, a large part of himself had died. Damn that Kei! Had he stayed with them, they could still have been together!

His life changed the moment he and Sho were reunited.

* * *

The trauma of temporarily losing his lover for those few weeks had really hit Kei hard. He had begun to make sure they did absolutely everything together, from bathing together (mm, naked Kei. 3), to eating together (though the blonde really didn't need to), sleeping together (or, not actually sleeping, buuuut...), drinking together (which led to sleeping together), until eventually, neither had any time to themselves.

**"WOULD YOU CUT IT _OUT,_ KEI?"**

The blonde glanced over at his lover. "Mm?"

Sho turned red, facing the wall. "Let me go in _PRIVACY!"_

Kei merely shrugged. "It's not like I'm looking. Besides, it's nothing I haven't seen or felt before--"

_"KEI!"_ Sho turned red, throwing a towel at the other man.

"What? You don't like when I talk about sex?"

The taller man shook his head. He finished up, moving to wash his hands. "Not in the slightest."

A mischievous grin appeared on Kei's face. "Oh, really? Is that so."

* * *

Son meeting Sho again had been purely by chance--it seemed the other man didn't even recognize him. Son, the older brother, understood of course. They had been young when they had been split up, so it was only natural that the brunette would take a while to recall who he was.

Even during their first few meetings, Kei had tried to keep them split up. This grew more and more evident as time passed. Whether Kei recognized him or not, he was aware that his presence made the blonde incredibly uneasy.

There was no doubt in his mind that it was the same vampire as before--the same one who had fucked up he and his brother's life.

* * *

Sho turned to his lover, who had at some point in their conversation removed his shirt and unzipped his pants. "Yes."

Kei's delicate hand slowly began massaging his nipple, making the blonde groan in satisfaction. "Ohhh...so when I say," his voice lowered as he arched against the wall. In a husky half-moan, he murmered, _"I want you, Sho..." _Sho stopped, watching as Kei's right hand slipped into his pants. _"Ah..._that, that doesn't affect you..."

He stroked himself, his cock just barely out of Sho's view. The taller man tried to fight the lust threatening to overtake him, but he couldn't forever. "I...I didn't say that."

Kei moaned loudly, hips automatically jerking forward. "N-no..?" The blonde bit his tongue, trying to quiet himself. Sho moved forward, pushing his lover's pants down so that they were nearly off.

"I just don't like it."

* * *

Son's devotion to Sho was, at times, borderline psychotic. Sho was constantly on his mind, even taking over most of his unconsious mind as well. Kei had seemed to realize that something was off with him, and so had attempted to keep the brunette away from his love, albeit unsuccessfully. The taller man seemed to cling to him, as if drawn by an unseen bond to the unwell man. Nobody realized he was responding to the unconscious knowledge that he and Son were brothers, save perhaps Son himself.

The more time they had spent together, the more Kei began to worry. It was obvious Son loved the other man--to what degree, Kei was unsure. At any rate, if this meant he and Son were to compete for Sho's heart, so fucking be it, he would do everything in his power to win.

For awhile, it seemed as if nothing could stop him, and as their relationship took off, he seemed invincible--until the past came back.

* * *

Hazel eyes flickered to Sho's pants. _"Ah..._the_ campers_ disagree." Sho looked confused. Kei laughed, a sultry, silky laugh. _"A-ah_...y-you're pit-_ih...ahn..._pitching a t-tent, Sho..." Kei's delicate-looking hand brushed Sho's cock, moving up his body. Smirking, he returned to Sho's clothed mmember, gripping it just enough to let him feel that it was there. Sho gasped, letting Kei pull off his shirt. His hand rubbed against it as their moans mingled. _"Ahn...I want you, _Sho_."_

The taller man pinned him to the wall, arms on either side of his head. "Wh...where do you want me...?"

Kei threw his head back, still stroking himself. "Here...now...I want you_ in_ me..." Kei was panting, their bodies still not touching at all. He was completely naked, waiting for Sho to remove his pants as well.

"Mn...tell me more, my love."

_"Ah, _I want to feel you _inside _of me, Sho. I want you to fuck me 'til I _scream..."_ Kei panted, moving his hands up their bodies. He bucked his hips teasingly against his lover, still just barely touching. Sho yanked his pants down, his cock settling between his lover's white thighs.

"Talk to me, Kei...tell me what it is you want..."

Kei chuckled darkly, moving so that they were both in the shower. He leaned forward slightly. "Kiss me. Make me harder than I've ever been before..." Sho shuddered pleasantly, unsure of where this new side of both of them was coming from. Kei turned the shower on, the water already warm. The spray only escalated things, making the tiny room hot and steamy. Sho slipped his hands between Kei's thighs, stretching him expertly. _"...nnngh!_ Th-there..." Sho pushed his fingers harder against that spot in Kei, the path well-memorized. The impatient blonde turned the water up even more, turning his pale skin a soft pink. They both enjoyed the slightly painful heat, though they enjoyed the feel of each other more.

* * *

Son knew something. What it was, Kei couldn't guess. Whatever it was, he knew it could potentially shatter the careful trust he and Sho had placed in each other.

Their love was strong, no one could doubt that...but as Kei had said to Luka many years before, love and trust go hand in hand--you can have one without the other, but without both, a relationship can never happen.

Kei sometimes feared the brunette knew his secret, knew that he had broken a promise to protect Sho...If his lover found out, he knew Sho would never allow himself to feel for him, or perhaps anyone else ever again.

As many people as he had felt had abandoned him, to know that Kei himself, the person he had always had faith in above all else, not only knew his parents and didn't tell him, but had given his word he would protect him to only minutes later leave without looking back would absolutely devastate him. He just might feel the need to hurt himself.

* * *

"How do you want it, my love?"

Kei thought, eventually settling for "Hard, quick, and _rough."_ Sho chuckled, enterring him obligingly. "A-_ahn!_ Ah..._there!"_ Kei began to breathe heavily as his lover claimed him, their painful past readily forgotten. _"Mn...! _Deeper!"

Sho wrapped the blonde's legs around his waist, sandwiching Kei between himself and the wall. He pulled out so that only the head was still in, ramming it back in harshly. He continued thrusting in and out, his eyes never ceasing their roaming of the blonde's body. Blue orbs took in the way his hair clung desperately to his wet and heated skin, the pale, firm chest that heaved with his moans, and the way the water slid down every hill and valley of him, as Kei took his cock in as far as he could take it. He loved this breathtaking man. He loved him. "Ah-_ahn! _N-no more! It, it won't go any farther!" Sho grinned, deciding to prove to his lover just how wrong he was. "Hyah! Sho! _O-ohhhh..."_

The blonde clung to him, wiggling his hips as he tried to get used to the unusual position Sho had just put them in. "_F-fuck...!"_

Sho grinned. "Oh, gladly, my dear."

* * *

Son knew what effect the truth would have on Sho. He was well aware just how he would react to the knowledge of Kei's betrayal, and that is why he was going to reveal the truth tonight. When Sho found out, he'd reach the absolute lowest mental state anyone like him would ever reach, and while he was there, who would be able to pick up the pieces? Son would be there. He'd be more than gleeful to push that disgusting vampire from the picture and get that much closer to Sho.

_He_ would have Sho. They would be together again, just like before. Sho would be _his._

* * *

The blonde dug his heels into the small of Sho's back, his own back arching towards Sho's sensuous touch. They continued having sex, Kei half-riding Sho even when their phones both began ringing. "D-damn..._hah_...ha a_-ah_..._o-ohn..." _Kei grew louder as he inched closer to cumming.

_"F-fuck, Kei...!" _

The vampire screamed as he orgasmed, his lover still pleasantly violating him. Sho came as well, Kei's name on his lips as always. "I love you..." they murmered as the thunderstorm outside knocked the power out.

The water quickly turned cold, urging Kei and Sho to leave the now darkened bathroom. They stepped out, Sho still carrying his lover carefully. "Fuck...sometimes I hate the ra--_ah!"_ Sho screamed as he tripped over an object in the dark. "O...oops?"

Kei glared at him in the darkness. "You dropped me. Through all of _that_, you held onto me, and now, _NOW_...you DROP me." Kei wrapped his legs around the brunette's waist, still glaring.

"U-uhm, sorry?"

Kei's frown slowly dissipated into a smirk. "No...but you will be."

* * *

8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8

Morning came, as did Kei.

"F-fuck, Sho..." Kei collapsed on the bed beside his lover, thoroughly drained.

"Ah...ah..._d-damn_..." Sho laid out on the bed, trying to cool off and catch his breath. "I should piss you off m-more often!"

Kei glared at him. "Not unless you want to be sleeping on the couch."

Sho laughed, watching Kei blow out the candles they had lit while the power was out. "You can't kick me out of my _own room!" _Kei paused, mouth open as if he was going to speak. "What is it, Kei?"

"It's just...I thought we were sharing it?"

Sho grinned, lazily rolling over so he was a mass of dead weight on top of his lover. "Well, do you want to?"

A blush. "M-maybe."

Sho brought his lover into a giant bear hug. "Well, alright then. Now you CAN kick me out of OUR room..." both grinned, simultaneously getting an idea.

"Now, to break in OUR bed..."

Just as they were to begin round four (or was it five?), Toshi crashed into their bedroom.

"Toshi! What the fuck, man?"

Toshi turned red. "You're HAVING SEX at a time like this?"

Sho glanced at Kei. "We always have sex, regardless of the time, Toshi."

The smaller brunette fumed. "We're suppoesd to be pulling a job at a warehouse _RIGHT NOW!" _

Sho shrugged, attempting to crawl back above Kei. "Let Son do it."

Kei pushed him off of him. "Then we don't get our cut, Sho." He glanced over at Toshi. "We'll be there, Toshi."

The pizza man fumed. "You're supposed to be there RIGHT NOW!"

Kei laughed. "I'm fairly certain we would be less...distracted...after a shower." Toshi stared. "A...COLD. Shower."

He still didn't connect the dots. "TO GET DOWN OUR DICKS, DUMBASS!"

"...you guys are disgusting." Toshi scowled as Kei headed toward the bathroom, laughing hysterically.

* * *

(a/n) Right, right, bad stopping place...however, I'm curious to see what you guys think of it. (and because I haven't updated in SO LONG, you shall of course review, ne? :D)


	12. After Gackt

**Filler no.2!**

Warning: foul language, angst, a touch of fluff, mentions of homosexuality...if you didn't realize that after the last ten smut scenes, wooooow... xDDD

(a/n) Just a li'l bonus chapter of angsty Hyde...because I love Hyde. ^.^ And I feel guilty I made him divorce, and then killed his new husband off. oO

Soo...you didn't hear this from me...BUT I'VE ALREADY BEGUN WORK ON THE SEQUEL! :DDD Will it be angsty, will it be sexy, will Kei and Sho even still be together? Guess you'll have to read to the last chapter and find out! :D

DEDICATED TO JADED EXPRESSION OF EUPHORIA, FOR BEING THE ONLY PERSON TO ACTUALLY BOTHER TO GUESS WHO GACKT'S LOVER WAS? C'mon...it's kind of obvious...also dedicated to L . P . Coryn, for her awesome review last chapter! :DDD

* * *

"Haido-san...Haaaido-san..." I turned my empty gaze to stare at the person calling me.

"What?" Uncaring, I glared at the jumpy man.

"U-uh, a-a c-c-call f-for y-y-you...?" he stammered, handing me the phone. I stared at it a moment before taking it.

A voice that sounded much like my own came through the phone. _"Gackt?"_

I snapped. "He's dead." Without bothering with a goodbye, I punched the off button, earning a surprised look from my assistant.

"Haido-sama?" the other man asked, setting down his clipboard as I stood.

"Water." I threw over my shoulder, walking into the hallway. When I had closed the door, I sighed, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. "Damn it, Gackt..." I hadn't cried since I had left the hospital on that terrible day. The entire week leading up to my husband's death had been filled to the brim with tears. We all knew it was coming, which I'm sure is why I was able to stifle the tears after I left. I did my best not to remember that day, but it couldn't be helped, especially when I would see pictures or videos where he still had that magical twinkle in his living eyes.

I will never forget the moment that spark of life left him, even behind his azure contacts, I could see his eyes fading to grey. That was truly the worst moment of my life.

I couldn't cry at his funeral. I had to be strong. As I looked upon his made-up face in the casket, I came close, so incredibly close. I choked back a tear, moving quickly away from the line after our boys, our _children_ waved goodbye. I walked into the hall, passing them over to You and Chachamaru. I think they could tell that I was changed; who wouldn't be? The only person I had ever truly loved, had broken all the rules for, ignored my company's wishes for, divorced my own wife for, was dead. Before then, we had been completely inseperable. When we had to tour, we would tour together. When we went shopping, we shopped together. Hell, we even shared our baths! (Okay, so that was once, and it was more sex than actual bathing, but, hey.)

I stumbled towards the day-care center where I had left the boys. I came to a stop outside of the door, staring through the window as the two played with racecars and action figures. I looked first at my biological son, whom I loved more than anything in the world. Then, my eyes moved to HIS child. He glanced up at me, and for a moment, I got caught up in the blue eyes there, which still held that childish sparkle. For a moment, if only for a moment, I still felt that _he_ was alive, that he hadn't died, that I wasn't left alone to raise our children without going insane. I sniffed as the eyes closed, and I was forced to return to reality. The face was Sho's, not Gackt's. How he'd actually ended up with blue eyes, I don't know. Perhaps it was a product of his mother's...no, I refused to believe that. Not that I had anything against the woman, but I hated thinking of her having ever shared a life with my love. Even at the funeral, he couldn't fully escape her presence. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to regain my sense of calm. I came nowhere near it, and I doubted I ever would, but it was the best I could do without him by my side.

I checked the boys out, handing the woman behind the counter a check for the month. Each of my sons, our sons, grabbed one of my hands. I glanced down at each briefly, smiling warmly as their tiny hands folded within my not so large ones. We headed to the car, with me promising them ice cream if they behaved on the way home. When we got there, I was surprised to find the door unlocked. Even more surprising was finding You and Chachamaru inside, sitting on our couch. The two boys immediately squealed, running into their uncles' arms. The two men hugged them warmly, affection radiating off of them in waves. I smiled, sitting down in a chair opposite them as our two boys cuddled up in their arms. As Chacha ruffled their hair, You gave me a careful look. Shit. Here it comes. "Boys, why don't you and Uncle Chacha go upstairs and play in the toyroom for a bit?" Son and Sho gave gleeful squeals, grabbing the blonde's hands and dragging him up the stairs.

We watched them leave, before our eyes slowly met back up. "It's coming up soon, you know. His birthday."

I ignored the clenching feeling in my chest. Willing away my weakness for the time being, I nodded my head. "I know."

You cleared his throat awkwardly, twidling his thumbs. "He, uh, he always talked about how he would want a memorial concert, like with hide-"

"He didn't fucking kill himself, You. He died. He's **dead.** I've accepted it, why can't any of you?"

He looked taken aback for a moment, but refused to stay silent. "I had heard his death had changed you...we all knew it would...but, _this much,_ Hyde-kun? You've never been rude to anyone before, and now..."

I glared at him hatefully. "Now, what? What the fuck does it matter how I act around anyone anymore? He's not here, he's GONE. Nothing can change that, and I'm not going to drive myself insane trying to. No matter how nice I am to people, no matter how often I put others first, I still can't have the one thing I have ever wanted, the one person I have ever loved...tell me, You-kun...what the fuck does any of it matter without him?"

He had a pained look on his face. Ah, I forgot. They were lovers once as well...he took a deep breath, closing his eyes before he spoke. "H-haido-kun...I understand how much you miss him," he put up a hand, keeping me from protesting. "I may not have had children with him, or have married him, but, but we had close to the same amount of depth between us as you two had..." I closed my mouth, now genuinely curious as to what he had to say. Neither of us noticed Chachamaru peeking around the corner to see what was going on. "We cared deeply for each other...I know you saw that. You saw how close we were, how much we cared for each other...you know I would never betray his memory by trying to cash in on his death. You see that we just want to honor his wishes, but you feel like if you give in, you'll be truly accepting every part of his death. I understand, Haido-kun, I do. It's absolutely understandable; if I was in your situation, I would probably do the same. However, Haido-kun..." I wiped my eyes clear of tears before he could see them. His eyes filled with empathy as he stood, pulling me close. I wrapped my arms around him, crying into his chest. "Hyde-kun, we both know that that's what he would have wanted...he would want everyone to be happy, to remember the good times...and he would want you, you above everyone else to be a part of it."

I sobbed, nodding my head as I conceeded. "Y-you're right, You-chan...I can't help it...I'm so _fucking-"_

He cut me off, rubbing my back soothingly as he placed a kiss to my forehead. "Hurt. You're fucking _hurt,_ Hyde, not selfish. Hell, I doubt you even know _how_ to be selfish."

I tried to chuckle, though it morphed back and forth between a laugh and a sob. "I-I do when it comes to G-gakuto...hence us never having a three-some with you like he so wanted."

You chuckled into my hair, squeezing me tightly. We both reddened as we heard a cough from the doorway, as well as a small voice asking Chachamaru what a 'threesome' was. You and I laughed despite ourselves as Chacha's eyes got big and he looked from us to the children and back.

"U-uh, ask your f-f-father!" Son and Sho turned to me expectantly, still clinging to Chacha's pink pants.

I chuckled, walking over and picking the two boys up in my arms. "Don't worry about it. You'll learn when you're old enough." They nodded, leaning their heads against my shoulders. "I'll talk to you guys later about the memorial, okay? Right now, I think I owe these two some ice cream." Both boys gave gleeful squeals, grinning at each other. Their uncles smiled, asking what kind they planned to have. All three of us burst out laughing as the two simultaneously exclaimed _"Vanilla!" _They nodded, telling them not to have too much, or they'd never fall asleep that night. I grinned, swatting them out the door and to their car. They waved goodbye as they jumped in, and You carefully pulled out of the driveway. The three of us waved back, watching them until they disappeared down the street.

* * *

The memorial concert was exhausting. Amazing, but exhausting. I felt absolutely drained as I headed for home, turning down some invites to drink. I nearly veered off the road several times as my eyes hooded lower and lower. I let out a sigh of relief as I finally reached home. For a while, I was tempted to just sleep in my car, if it meant not having to get up. Damn, I'd really overdone it this time. I knew I should have listened to everyone, I should've slowed down, not pushed myself so much after Gackt's death, but...I needed to lose myself in my work, needed to get away from everything that so reminded me of him, even if it meant running around and doing concerts like crazy until I fell asleep on stage. The company had threatened to hospitalize me once or twice, if I kept up such an insane pace. I simply promised them a new album if they didn't, and all of a sudden, they were all for my unhealthy work excursions. I leaned my head against the steering wheel, genuinely too tired to even sleep. Hearing our dog barking inside the house convinced me to slide out and creep inch by inch towards the front door. I don't even recall getting it open, quieting the dog or kissing my boys goodnight as I always did; I simply know that somehow I ended up in our bed for the first time in months, not on the couch or in a cheap hotel, or in a chair in the kids' room. I took a deep breath of the sweet air inside the dark room, snuggling into the blankets and silk sheets. I pulled your pillow close, and wow, it still had your scent. I imagined that instead of simply sheets caressing my body, they were your calloused hands, exploring my skin as if it was the first, gentle time. I imagined that it wasn't just the warm summer air against my lips, but that they were yours on that first, tender night we shared. I pretended it wasn't just a pillow that smelled like your shampoo and cologne that had me yearning for the past but that it was you, talking about it with me, reminiscing about it with me, recreating it with me. Back then, we dreamed of an eternity, and now, we'd have it. For the first time since the last kiss we shared, I truly felt at peace. Exhaustion overcame me, and it never let me go. You were my calm in my hectic life, my solace, and now, you've helped me to find my eternal peace. I smiled as we kissed. No, I'll never let you go.

* * *

(a/n) ...so...With chapter 11, I FINALLY had EVERYTHING actually FIGURED OUT...I mean, it was perfect, I knew EXACTLY where to go with this, and THEN-POOF! Bye-bye, it gone. So, you got this as a filler. xD I've had this idea for awhile, and just decided to finish it tonight. I hope you liked it...anyone spot the Orenji no Taiyou lyric in there? :D Couldn't resist, wanted to make it have symbolism, or some loser stuff like that. xD I hope this came out alright...I mean, with You and Chacha dying in a car accident, and Gackt being sick, I wanted Hyde's death to be at least a little bit peaceful...tell me watcha think!

Please review!


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